You probably don't want to hear airy fairy stuff like this at the moment, but I don't know what else to say, you are depending on hopes and dreams to define you, but as you can plainly see, because you wrote it, hopes and dreams die, so I agree wit you, why bother, but you could put your time and energy into the real you, the person that is living and breathing and feeling, it you can identify with yourself and try and nurture and even love yourself without any outside influences, if you can get your head around feeling good or better then you do about yourself for no other reason than it's better than feeling crap about yourself that could be a start, get to know and even like "ME" you may have nothing going for "me" because you don't even see "me" your to busy looking at what you don't have. Change your mind, change your point of view, look in instead of looking out.
Love and Light
P