I'm just sitting here by myself and I don't know what to do. I have memories of being sexually abused as a child by a family friend. I was working through it for a while but decided it was too much and decided to ignore it. I feel all these feelings bubbling up inside of me again and I just feel disgusting and worthless and I hate myself. I remember feeling aroused by my abuser when I was younger and it just makes me want to die. I told both my parents a few months ago and they didn't believe me. My dad even said "If anything were going on you would have told me." This has affected me a lot, sex and being touched causes excruciating pain, I've developed schizo-affective disorder, terrible depression, headaches caused by stress, and I eat as a comfort and have gained about 120 lbs since I started working through my problems. I'm at my wits end. I HATE myself- HATE HATE HATE. There's just no where left to go.