What am I supposed to do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Youlleatamuffinandlikeit, Aug 22, 2012.

  1. Youlleatamuffinandlikeit

    Youlleatamuffinandlikeit Well-Known Member

    I need some help here. Some objective outsiders perspective.

    A few weeks ago this guy totally devastated me and broke my heart through his lies and cowardice. But I took him back as he seems to want to change and I do love him, but starting slowly again.

    I've been going through a hellish time lately and not getting much in the way of support, although I always give to him. He's away at the moment so there's no emails. The other night I didn't hear from him and, combined with everything else, I let my insecurity get the better of meand sent a few crazy texts.

    He was no amused the day after and said that apparently I'm this 'jeckyll and hyde' character he doesnt need in his life right now and hasnt replied to any of my texts, apologising, explaining and reassuring him it won't happen again.

    It's making me sick with worry.

    I feel like I'm being mischaracterised as some kind of psycho, when this has only happened once before and again, there was a lot of other stuff going on. 99% of the time I give him EVERYTHING and total support and to be honest, I get little back.

    This is eating me up and I don't know what I can do. I feel stupid and horrible that I've cleared ruined everything now, including all the progress we made since a few weeks ago.

    How can I fix this?
     
  2. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    No you didn't do anything wrong. This guy just doesn't give a fuck about you. He has you tied up in knots and feeling like shit while clinging onto his very thin thread. End it with this guy. Now, today.
     
  3. Youlleatamuffinandlikeit

    Youlleatamuffinandlikeit Well-Known Member

    I'm just hoping that this is time for him to cool off and we'll sort it when he gets back....but this is HELL for me, knowing it was all my fault and how things were left horribly, with no way to fix it. I'm terrified I've ruined everything....
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Do you really want to be with someone who makes you feel like shit?

    The guy is playing with your head, there's a lot of them out there and it won't get better.
    Once someone knows they can pull your strings, they use it and making you feel bad, making everything your fault, gives them a sense of power.
    Drop this jerk and move on.
     
  5. Youlleatamuffinandlikeit

    Youlleatamuffinandlikeit Well-Known Member

    This is making me ill now. I'm actually losing progress because of this. There's no way he can't know what state I'm in because of this. I really hope it's tonight he's back and not tomorrow.

    :'(
     
  6. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU! HE WILL NEVER CARE ABOUT YOU. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM. YOU HAVE NO VALUE TO HIM.HE'S PLAYING YOU FOR A DESPERATE IDIOT. Get with the fucking program kid and ditch this dick. Stop playing his games. Stop talking to him. Ask yourself this: What do you want from a relationship that he's giving you now? Not what he CAN give you, what IS he giving you now that you want in a loving caring relationship?
     
  7. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Jesus prinn? Who the fuck are you talking to, her or yourself? Calm down... you may be right but damn. Talk about tough love, she could get into a worse state by ditching without understanding for herself why she needs to. IF she does ditch him, she needs to make sure she remembers she's better than these feelings and the shit she's enduring so she knows how to fend it off in the future. It's not just a bandade.
     
  8. Youlleatamuffinandlikeit

    Youlleatamuffinandlikeit Well-Known Member

    I'm not a girl, but thank you. I think he's back today but I'm not sure, so hopefully he will be able to contact me to sort this out. My head is all over the place. I literally don't know what to do with myself.
     
  9. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Don't get too hopeful.
    At the moment you are hanging on to the idea that it will all work out, and who knows, it may, but I'm not sure its in your best interests for it to work out.
    This guy sounds like a player.
     
  10. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Sorry my bad.
    I think if your head is all over the place and you're in a relationship with someone whose messed you about like this and isn't in any real direct communication with you, you need to appricate that you're putting alot of want and feelings onto a relationship/him that probably not there.
    I don't know your situation or how you're feeling, or how you two feel for eachother, but it seems like this grey zone is causing you alot of distress, and you've tried to get in contact with him, but to no avail. This doesn't sound like someone who you can trust with your feelings or stability to be honest. The moment you make any progress with him, it could be easily undone with him doing something like not getting in contact with you, or whatever.
    Just becareful, it really sounds like you're holding onto something that's not there and it's mucking you up a bit. You should in all honesty be aiming to stabalise yourself, not trying to find that with someone who by all rights doesn't really sound like he's that interested in how you're feeling.

    He did state though that he wasn't interested in a relationship anymore.