What am i?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by qwiks, Oct 11, 2008.

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  1. qwiks

    qwiks New Member

    I don't really feel one way or another about anything. i don't care who wins the election, i don't care about the stock market being down 50%. i don't care if there is a god or not and i don't care that some people push their religious beleifs on others.

    I don't care when i see disasters on tv. I like to eat meat but i don't care about PETA throwing hissy fits about it. I couldn't care less about child porn, AIDs or pollution.

    All of this makes me kind of empty, I don't really care about myself or my achievements. Basically i view life as a random pointless thing that forces me to eat and sleep until age or something else puts an end to it. I guess don't believe there's any real value to anything, but i don't sympathize at all with whiners who are "depressed", they long for something better, and i don't. If i would go and commit suicide, it wouldn't be due to desperation, but to lack of motivation.

    I can watch things like Feminists, Catholics, animal rights organizations, Nazis, liberals or whatever is the flavour of the month is, spew their incoherent ramblings on society.

    I'm not some trenchcoat-wearing aspie who hates the world or anything. In fact, i'm sure most people are really nice and have their own long catalogue of beautiful memories that make them as human as me, but i just can't bring myself to give a shit about anything. I scrape by in class, I make a passing effort to socialise with my mates, I make a passing effort to look good, I don't care where my life goes - if i pass or fail, if i'm single or get a girl, whether i have friends or not. I just don't mind it at all.

    It's all very meh to me.

    Am i a nihilist? A buddhist? a cat in a hat? What should I do about it?
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i say do nothing.
    at least you'll have a very easy life.
  3. Misako

    Misako Member

    Have you got a clue of when you started feeling like that? Or haven't you known any other day?

    It's not like I want to mess up your mood or so, don't worry, but think about things you miss or stuff you used to do that cheers you up. That way you can discover what motivates you. (I'm not too good at this kind of advice but it's my opinion on it)

    Maybe a change of environment can help to. Go live somewhere else for a while, or a week or so and see if that changes anything :)
  4. qwiks

    qwiks New Member

    I wish i could.

    I mean, my GF broke up with me like a week ago, slept with a "friend" of mine and started dating him the next day. Im like $2800 dollars in debt and owe my parents like $800. Im living with them at the moment, but they're kicking me out soon, and im finding it hard to find a job, to pay to move out/away. I felt sad, and cryed for like a few hours after my GF broke up with me but now, just a few days later im completley fine and have a whole neutral stance on the whole thing.

    But the thing is, I still dont feel sad, or depressed.

    Like i said, its quite an empty feeling.
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