its in human nature to survive, so we keep going. keep going to see what happens next, keep going no matter how bad thing get. nothing is stronger than the will to survive.
a good friend once said to me. ''ill die before i kill myself''.
this ''fight'', its called life, and when your up against the world,
your gonna need all the help you can get....especaily you.
mines to feel and be free as who I am, regardless of what people think. And maybe to be able to share and give something back... Infact id love that. To experience new things without feeling like a restricted person inside, and out.
Everything thought and feeling that combines to make me believe that I should not be here is cause enough for me to fight for myself. It just gets very.. difficult sometimes. But yeah. Just to be me, and to be happy, with wahtever happyness is for me at that time. I suppose it's, to grow.
For me, at least right now, it's curiosity. While I do have the feeling that things won't magically get better, there's still the hope that something random will happen and lead down a path of interesting events. I figure I'll still have the option of ending things a week(month, year...) later and it won't make any difference to me after that.
For my grandaughter.. She saw her uncle dave die and at the viewing she broke down and took it hard.. I can't do that to her..I'll die of natural causes in a few years anyhow..I've been smoking for forty two years and have problems breathing so I look forward to that..At least she won't know I tried..
what is there left to fight for? i don't even take my own advice but think of the person closest to you in life and what they would do to prevent you from going through with it if they thought they you were going to committ suicide. think of how much they still want you here