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What Can I Do About This?

A Lost Cause

Well-Known Member
#1
So, I've heard of Transference, and on some level I think that matches up with this, but I'm really not so sure, and would just like your opinion on what might be wrong with me and advice on how to stop this. Or is it totally normal?!

Sooo...Let's start with my very first session with a therapist, well call her L.
Everything went totally fine! I was nervous, but I didn't feel scared or protective of L at all. There's not really much to say about the session as it went so well. Lol. Though I only had 1 session with her

My nest therapist, we shall call her J, was a little different. After a few sessions, I started shutting down, not talking to her, telling her only things I thought would be easy for her to handle, etc. I started being both scared of her (thinking she'd get angry or offended) and just overall overly attached.. (stalking her online to make sure she was okay, crying when I found a death notice from her great grandmother, not expressing my feelings in fear she was to delicate to hear them...) It got to the point I was treating her more the way I do my mother than as a therapist.

Than...I got my next therapist, C, and everything was fine, I only saw her 4 times though. No attachment what so ever.

Now, I have my current therapist, M, and I feel like it's J all over again. I'm more scared of M than I was of J though. I'm constantly on eggshells with my mother because she'll punish me for things I didn't intend to do wrong, days after I do them, and even though m hasn't done that, I'm constantly worried she will. On the other hand, I also love my mom a lot, and get really upset when people judge her, or really happy when people like her, and it's the same with my therapist. I think she's an amazing person and love when my mother talks highly of her, but got extremely defensive when my mother referred to M as a Witch.



I
 

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
#2
firstly, well done you for having the courage to see a therapist, let alone as many as you have. Some people find it really daunting. So, go you!

secondly, why was you so scared of therapist J? What did he/she do to make you so scared? Why did you shut down with J after being so open?

What happened with C even though C was a good therapist? Well that’s the impression I get from that.

Ouch that your mum called her a witch. Is M that nasty? I mean maybe I’m a little confused?
 

A Lost Cause

Well-Known Member
#3
firstly, well done you for having the courage to see a therapist, let alone as many as you have. Some people find it really daunting. So, go you!

secondly, why was you so scared of therapist J? What did he/she do to make you so scared? Why did you shut down with J after being so open?

What happened with C even though C was a good therapist? Well that’s the impression I get from that.

Ouch that your mum called her a witch. Is M that nasty? I mean maybe I’m a little confused?
Thanks!

I don't really know if J did anything to scare me, as our relationship grew so did my fear of her but idk why.

C was a good therapist, just not for me. She tried to have me hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. (No plans, just thoughts) which maybe was the right thing, but it's left me feeling unable to talk about them so I'm having to deal with them without help..

No! M is very sweet. My mom just has a thing against social workers/psychologists for some reason
 

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
#4
Thanks!

I don't really know if J did anything to scare me, as our relationship grew so did my fear of her but idk why.

C was a good therapist, just not for me. She tried to have me hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. (No plans, just thoughts) which maybe was the right thing, but it's left me feeling unable to talk about them so I'm having to deal with them without help..

No! M is very sweet. My mom just has a thing against social workers/psychologists for some reason
Sometimes I think some people come across that way when they speak in a certain way and you feel like you’ve gotta walk on egg shells.
Ahh yes you do have to find the right therapist for you. I guess maybe she tried hospitalise you because she felt that was necessary, even though you didn’t have ideas as such just thoughts that would probably be alarming.
Ahh well I’m glad this one is sweet. I hope you get somewhere with her :)
 

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