So, I've heard of Transference, and on some level I think that matches up with this, but I'm really not so sure, and would just like your opinion on what might be wrong with me and advice on how to stop this. Or is it totally normal?!
Sooo...Let's start with my very first session with a therapist, well call her L.
Everything went totally fine! I was nervous, but I didn't feel scared or protective of L at all. There's not really much to say about the session as it went so well. Lol. Though I only had 1 session with her
My nest therapist, we shall call her J, was a little different. After a few sessions, I started shutting down, not talking to her, telling her only things I thought would be easy for her to handle, etc. I started being both scared of her (thinking she'd get angry or offended) and just overall overly attached.. (stalking her online to make sure she was okay, crying when I found a death notice from her great grandmother, not expressing my feelings in fear she was to delicate to hear them...) It got to the point I was treating her more the way I do my mother than as a therapist.
Than...I got my next therapist, C, and everything was fine, I only saw her 4 times though. No attachment what so ever.
Now, I have my current therapist, M, and I feel like it's J all over again. I'm more scared of M than I was of J though. I'm constantly on eggshells with my mother because she'll punish me for things I didn't intend to do wrong, days after I do them, and even though m hasn't done that, I'm constantly worried she will. On the other hand, I also love my mom a lot, and get really upset when people judge her, or really happy when people like her, and it's the same with my therapist. I think she's an amazing person and love when my mother talks highly of her, but got extremely defensive when my mother referred to M as a Witch.
I
Sooo...Let's start with my very first session with a therapist, well call her L.
Everything went totally fine! I was nervous, but I didn't feel scared or protective of L at all. There's not really much to say about the session as it went so well. Lol. Though I only had 1 session with her
My nest therapist, we shall call her J, was a little different. After a few sessions, I started shutting down, not talking to her, telling her only things I thought would be easy for her to handle, etc. I started being both scared of her (thinking she'd get angry or offended) and just overall overly attached.. (stalking her online to make sure she was okay, crying when I found a death notice from her great grandmother, not expressing my feelings in fear she was to delicate to hear them...) It got to the point I was treating her more the way I do my mother than as a therapist.
Than...I got my next therapist, C, and everything was fine, I only saw her 4 times though. No attachment what so ever.
Now, I have my current therapist, M, and I feel like it's J all over again. I'm more scared of M than I was of J though. I'm constantly on eggshells with my mother because she'll punish me for things I didn't intend to do wrong, days after I do them, and even though m hasn't done that, I'm constantly worried she will. On the other hand, I also love my mom a lot, and get really upset when people judge her, or really happy when people like her, and it's the same with my therapist. I think she's an amazing person and love when my mother talks highly of her, but got extremely defensive when my mother referred to M as a Witch.
I