What can I do? I truly love her!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Ice Cold, May 13, 2011.

  1. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold Member

    So, my girlfriend is moving to France some time in June. I'm only 14 years old, yo may think I'm a ****** and to grow up because you can't find true love at 14. But I have, I love her more than anything else in the world. Ever since I found out she was moving to France for sure, I've cried my self to sleep every night, this crying goes on for over 3 hours each time. I've never been so scared in my life, I really don't want to lose her. She's the only person I trust, she's the only person who I can talk to, she's the only people I feel safe around. My mum keeps threatening me to put me in a mental institution after self harming (18 cuts in one go, haven't done since). I just want to run away from everything, dig a hole and die in it. No one can understand how much I really love her. She is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. No her, means no me. I've seen some other peoples diary's and topics on this forum, no way near as bad as mine. But please help me, I really need to know how to cheer my self up. I just really love her so much. I'm on anti-depressants and they don't have any effect at all. Tried counselling and it just makes me feel 10x worse! PLEASE HELP!

    :cry2: :cry2: :cry2: :cry2: :cry2: :cry2:
  2. ConfusedSilence

    ConfusedSilence Well-Known Member

    I believe that you can fall in love at 14. I think it's uncommon, but I believe it can happen.

    Have you tried just talking to her? Talk about staying in touch, maybe having her visit or you visiting her? If anything, it might help you get some closure. And spend the time you have left with her wisely.

    Also, please don't use the term "******" on this forum. A lot of people, myself included, find it offensive.
  3. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    First thing, I'd remove your full name just for safety reasons. No need to give a surname and as this is private (you only want us to know) it would be wise to remove it.

    You can fall in love aged 14 - I know people still together after meeting at that tender age. Sure, its not 'common' but it happens. You also find people who had a crush at an earlier age marrying also. Romeo and Juliet is about such a love.

    I'm not dismissing your feelings just because you are 14 - and as for being a ****** - lol - your actually going through what many of your school mates will not see for years. They will cry over a girl or woman at some time - we all do, we sob our hearts out but usually in secret.

    You got nothing to be ashamed of there. Your a guy who feels uncomfortable talking about emotions, not unusual for a 14 yr old. You do show a maturity though beyond your years. Even so, your legally a child and have to live under your parents roof till your 16 or 17. Your girlfriend is also under those obligations and I'm sure you do not want her to be left with just a memory of you and blaming herself also.

    As for this cutting, you really got to stop that. Ask people here about cutting at a young age - all regret it and some have scars which last a life reminding them of bad times. When you get help the cutting stops as you learn to funnel those negative emotions somewhere else. Meds can help a lot also - but aged 14 you have to be careful and I'm sure your doc would have to be careful in not giving you too hih a dose at first and watching for side effects.

    Your girlfriend is moving due to a family move? Bear in mind, you can keep in touch in this day and age with ease - video set ups, mobile phone and the texting and so on. Many young students have partners who study in other countries - you can stay true to someone then distance does not matter. As long as it is temporary you know that you can see her again sometimes.

    Does she feel the same way about you ? If so then you can both keep more than in touch and you will be able to hopefully visit her. Its hard for long distance romance to work most of the time - but its possible your feelings for each other will grow and you'll soon be of an age were you could follow her if you wanted.

    Do get some help though - this is a crisis of sorts - and if you are cutting or becoming very depressed, you will need to see someone, a doctor, to tell them what you are going through.

    Part of this may be 'natural' because if we are parted from people we love it hurts us and nobody but a fool would think less of you for feeling that pain.

    But cutting yourself is a sign of a deeper rooted depression, not the normal reaction of someone in love who might lose the one they love.

    your mum is wrong to talk about institutions, but you do need help and don't be embarrassed or ashamed if you do.

    You show a lot of guts for a 14 yr old boy.

    I wish you well in your romance but really hope you can feel better in yourself also.

    Think of it as letting her go for a while. You got plenty of years to actually marry her - and sometimes, aged 14, we do know who we want to marry.

    Get an education though because that is your ticket to France or wherever you want to go to.

    Try and talk to your mum - and have a talk with your girlfriend, try to support her as she must be a little scared about moving away from everyone she knows and the nation she knows.

    I know its hard - but try and let her see you as someone who wants her to get a good education and hopefully you two might get together again when you are older.

    Best of luck.
  4. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold Member

    Thank you so much :love:

    She's also really scared too :(
    Last edited by a moderator: May 15, 2011