What Can I Do??

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SadMan31, Oct 27, 2012.

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  1. SadMan31

    SadMan31 New Member

    Hi. I have read so many things about suicide...a few being, that you should remember that life is a gift, and your body is a temple and you should pray...well what if..you're born in the wrong body and after YEARS of praying that you would wake up in a different one (because you are told God is creator of all and devine miracles happen every day) you are never answered, and then everything just goes wrong for oyu...every day...you have to struggle and fight and work sooo hard, jst to be walked all over, lied to and misled...I have attempted suicide before...i took <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> and went to bed...woke up 6 hours later to find that I couldn't move...felt like something was holding me down...I survived..obviously, but right now, I am tired. I just want to give up. I don't have a logical explaination as to why, I just do...I just want the pain to stop...physical pain, and emotional pain. I am in physical pain every day, from foot problems...soon, I fear I will not be able to walk...i push through it...but it is too much at times..but emotionally, I am screwed. I keep thinking, this could be it...Why can't I just leave? When I prayed for a different life, I really believed there was a God who loved me,but after 10 years of praying that never got answered, I stopped believing. Don't try and convince me, it is already gone. What I need help with now is trying to fight through this feeling of I don't want to be here anymore...And I don't. I feel like I have nothing to give to anyone. I am transgendered, through transition, but can never have kids, or be a real citizen, with what I was born with. This pains me. I am sad. I wish every night, now, that I could just die...I am suffering a tooth infection right now, and don't even want to get help. Most days I just wish it would cause a heart attack, or spread to my bones...I am sorry to write such morbid things, but I can't talk about it with anyone because I don't want to be locked up. I just wish I could have a different life. Maybe one I could be proud of living, and happy about who I am...:sad::sad::sad::sad::sad:
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun Physical pain i know that one hun and it does brings one depression to a different level. Have you talked to your doctor about seeing a pain specialist someone that can help you with the pain with living with it under control methods. Also hun talk to you doc ok about getting some help for YOU be it meds or therapy to help you get out of all that darkness you are in. This place is a great place hun for letting go of all those thoughts and for meeting people You will not be so alone now you are here hugs to you
     
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