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what can you do to help people in SF


When a 1965 Dodge just isn't enough
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
I see the statement a lot that people would like to help others in Sf but don't know how. i'm going to mention some and I hope other people will mention more. after all this is peer support so when we need support we get it and when we can we give it. it's not hard to help others.

1. always listen to what other people say. just being heard helps. i know i feel better if someone actually tries to understand what i say.
2. try to always have empathy for people they are suffering in some way.
3. if you have knowledge on thier situation give advice just don't push
4. try to make sure they know they aren't alone
5. sometimes something as simple as a hug will make a huge difference.
6. only say or do things from your heart, be honest and genuine
7. basically put yourself in their shoes and ask what would i want

you can use one or more of these things or anything else that gets suggested. just make sure people know that you care. and if you agree with someone or like what they post like it, this way they know you read it...mike


🎸🎼Rock Star🎼🎸
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
I have plenty of ideas, but if you do one of them, you still help someone. ;)

In general :
- Give a compliment.
- Compliment/congratulate them when they do something good/when they make progress, as little as it can be
- I suggest always writing personalized messages.
- Take the time to write 1 meaningful reply that will make an impact rather than 10 fast ones.
- Use emojis. It always sounds nicer.
- Always be honest.
- But no matter what I say, be yourself, otherwise you won't be helping yourself.

On people's threads :
- Give likes. It sounds silly, but it does change a tiny something in people's minds when they see it.
- Read the post, and show them you did and that it matters.
- If you don't know what to say, leave a hug, though an accompanying sentence is always better.
- Ask them questions, related to the topic, or about themselves if it's a welcome thread.
- If you don't understand their problem (e.g. they talk about OCD and you don't know much about it), tell the truth rather than risking giving the wrong advice.

On the forum :
- Write a little message on their profile, preferably personalized and true. These messages stay there, they may see them more than once.
- Send them a PM if you think you could help them that way.
- Offer them to listen in PM or chat if you believe you are able to deal with that. If not, don't do it because people don't like feeling abandoned after 2 or 3 messages.
- Tag them when you think of them.
- Tag them in Jim's Café.
- Suggest other forum sections they may enjoy or find useful.

In Jim's Café :
- Tag new members that you saw somewhere or interacted with a little.
- Tell them to answer the questions of the theme, or just to say hi.
- Wish them a good day/night/happy birthday/other things...
- Make new members feel welcome and engage with them. Most people won't start a conversation by themselves with strangers.

Find your own way to help people. It's not about the amount, but perhaps you want to help 3 people and that's what is best for you. You can also help those who are your friends. Don't forget about helping yourself. Love ♡


When a 1965 Dodge just isn't enough
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
Crap. I feel like I wrote too much and no one can have additional ideas anymore. I didn't want to write so much, I swear. lol *dunno*facepalm
that's good to get as many ideas as possible. i'm sure there are more we didn't think about. also people can say what helps themselves the most...mike
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Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
SF Supporter
I don't know if this refers to helping people per se, but one thing is to not be rude to others who offer you advice. If they're coming from a good place and you just happen to not agree with the advice or it doesn't apply to you, then just overlook it instead of starting an argument.


Well-Known Member
"7. basically put yourself in their shoes and ask what would i want"
That right there is what I call the platinum rule. Alot of the world's problems could be solved if we could implement this rule.
Actually an upgrade to that rule. Basically put yourself in their position and ask yourself what would THEY want. To me that's the platinum rule that over rides the golden rule in my opinion


☆☆Ducking Fantastic ☆☆
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I agree with what has already been said here. Some really good things to keep in mind.

I try to think of what things help me, but also keep in mind that not everyone is the same as me. I don't read between the lines well. So for me someone is going to have to spell things out. I also don't like to start posts. If I do start one it's because something is really bothering me or I'm really excited by something (either way). I mostly throw things down in the threads rolling around here like complaints threads, thoughts threads, diary, cafe, tavern, what number are you threads and places like that.

I try to be kind, but also not feed someone a line of bull. I keep in mind that everyone here is in a different place. We're not all at the same stage of things. I mostly just try to remind people they aren't alone though. That's the biggest thing for me, being alone.

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