What depression feels like... [describe]

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by OneMoreReason, Aug 20, 2007.

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  1. OneMoreReason

    OneMoreReason Member

    I was just wondering how people would describe the way they feel when dealing with depression.

    The reason I ask is, for me depression seems purely to be the way my head feels... that is there are times when my head feels calm, at peace, and it feels as though life is ok, despite problems, there are plenty of days ahead to achieve things I want.

    Then, my head can feel different other days, as though it's under pressure, even when nothing major has changed, there's no more thinking of years ahead, but just today and possibly the next few days ahead. Suddeny; suicide, which was never on my mind previously is one of the main things I spend the day thinking about.

    I was on medication for a while, and during that time did not think about suicide much at all, and when I did, it was in a different way to when I spend days on end thinking about it.

    That's why I'm currently buying in to the chemical imbalance theory, but how would you describe the changes you go through, from when you were happy to when you're depressed?
     
  2. RunningAway

    RunningAway Well-Known Member

    Hello :)

    It is a strange thing. One day I feel okay and the next, sometimes for no obvious reason I do not. Unfortunately I think that this is the nature of depression. Have you thought about restarting your medications or asking your doctor?

    :hug:
     
  3. The Departed

    The Departed Member

    Most of the time I feel sad and somehow (emotionally) sedated. It's not ok but I got used to it. That's normal for me. Then sometimes, or more often from time to time, I feel more depressed, like I'm not in the mood for anything and just wanna get out of my life. Not necessarily by suicide, but rather by finding a new life or a friend or a love. In these moments or hours I feel much lonelier than usual and I just want this existence to end. As I said not necessarily by suicide. I think about killing myself too, but I wouldn't do it.
    When I feel "normal" my mood can change pretty quickly too feeling better, but it can also change back as fast as that. My depressions are virtally never really gone. I mean gone for hours or days even. The only time I can remember them being gone for more than just some minutes or hours was last new year's eve when I was with friends. It was the first time I spent new year's eve away from home. Then my depression was completely gone, which was really unusual to me and it felt also a little weird
     
  4. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    It's hard to describe everything, I guess...

    At the moment I feel very lathargic (not sure if I've spelt that right). I just have no energy and I keep crying randomly and without needing any trigger to make me.

    I feel so exhausted and I sometimes wish I would just fall unconcious and not wake-up again... just sleep forever... or maybe wake-up and all my problems are gone...

    I just feel so upset and I can't stop crying at this very moment.
     
  5. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    To me, I'd just say everything seems very bland and borring. Then at random points I get really 'unhappy', where I usually sit alone in my room listening to music.
     
  6. ashla86

    ashla86 Active Member

    Like I've got heavyness on my chest and I want to start crying or scream. Like I am trapped in my own head and can't do anything about it.
     
  7. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    For me it was that cloud that would descend on me a few moments after waking. I would wake up with a fresh mind and feeling good as if nothing had ever happened, and then it would all come crashing back in on me, the memories, the pain, the grief. Then it wouldn't stop until I went to bed. Wash, rinse and repeat. I'm happy to say I am pretty much better now, but for awhile there, that was what it felt like.
     
  8. BOLIAO

    BOLIAO Guest

    For me, I feel like i've entered a different dimension from normal. I feel different. i dont feel normal and feel detached. lost of total interest in doing anything. no mood to talk to anyone and just want to be left alone. want to sleep sleep n sleep or just lay in bed to shut my eyes. once i stayed in bed for 7 months, just getting up to eat n pee. this happen when I lost hope. Hope is the last thing anyone should lose cos when u lose it, u fall into depression cos no way out and despair sets in and it turns inward and the bloody mind gets depression. Once get depressed, it's not easy to come out of it.
     
  9. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    The only way I can describe depression for me anyhow...is even when the sun is shining everything I see, I feel is dull and has no life.

    I didn't wake one morning and BANG depression hit..When I look back now, first I started to withdraw from friends, I would sit in my bedroom and just watch tv, I would sleep for hours and then wake and have no motivation to do anything...then it started to get gradually worse, the feelings of living under a black cloud, looking thru my own eyes at things everything was hazy, foggy and dull...there was no life in anything. I Started to self harm more, the thoughts of suicide increased, I had no energy to do anything, I couldn't motivate myself, I would be asked a simple question and I couldn't answer, I didn't have the answer. My self esteem hit the floor, then I wasn't sleeping, I would go days without a wink of sleep, I lived in black clothes...The only thing I didn't do was to cry, I was frozen, numb and basically dead inside. ~ Most days I still live like this and nothing I do can shift these feelings.
     
  10. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    I feel sometimes that it is a state of great numbness. That you're chained by your emotions, well, the lack of. At times atleast. I think it's different, depending on what depressed you, and how long it's been, how severely it depressed you.

    I know mine feels like I'm usually 'gray', not here, not real. Don't feel a part of this world. As if you can watch but can't be seen. Like the tunnel you're in is only for you, and it only holds you. And you can do nothing else other than seep back into the darkness we know as ourselves.

    It's not exactly something I care to remember. Much less experience. It's a very slow, cold place.
     
  11. Kinetic

    Kinetic Well-Known Member

    Hey :smile:, well this is what I usually feel but it depends on what "type" of depression I'm in:

    Bored of everyone and everything
    Feeling very alienated, lonely, lost, confused, sad, hopeless, empty
    And often contemplating suicide
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 30, 2007
  12. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I feel nothing all the time. Nothing makes me happy and if I am happy then im scared of when the next bout of sadness will come. It's the constant thoughts of suicide going through my mind.

    It's like a cloud over my head..sometimes it's calm other times it's stormy. I call my depression "the blackness" I am black on the inside. Sometimes I feel so sad, or pain, or just numb. Sometimes I can sit for ages just staring into no where. I cry for no reason, I get triggered by little things. I cant do the things I used to enjoy.

    I dont want to go on. Every morning I wake up in disappoinment that I survived another night. All i want is to go to sleep and never wake up.
    All I need is love but thats impossible. Depression is like a naughty word, we cant say it cant talk about ir, I have to suffer in silence so I guess it's kinda my little secret. I hate it yet I love it at the same time.

    No one can belive me, no one knows what it's like unless they've been there themselves, and when you describe it to someone it is so hard.

    It's always there, sometimes you think it's gone, but it always returns, big and stronger, you can't defeat it, it will be the end of me.

    The Blackness.
     
  13. johnsmythe

    johnsmythe Well-Known Member

    For the most part I feel nothing. like literally nothing, I could stare at a wall and just retreat into my head for hours. I feel no emotions, no interest in anything, no compassion for others. I just stop caring....

    Then sometimes I feel incredibly lonely... this usually leads me to panic attacks (not huge ones but sudden rushes of panic and fear).

    Other times my core just freezes, and I feel dread and fear and uncertainty. This usually happens when I think in detail about my future.
     
  14. TwilightHours

    TwilightHours Active Member

    It doesn't feel like anything to me. I've often noted my passions and emotions are far less intense that those of others. My thoughts are often grim and pessimistic. It seems to make others discomforted, and friends are hard to come by, but I don't really care. I'm more solitary than my peers.
     
  15. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    For me, everything is dull, gloomy and lonely. If you've ever had that gloomy feeling when it's overcast, cold, drizzling and by yourself, well I feel like I'm permanently in that state. It's especially bad in the mornings. And on the really bad days, I have this hollow burning feeling in my stomach.

    It's hard to laugh at anything anymore. When I try to spend time with friends, it takes major effort to put on a happy face, and I actually leave when I don't have the energy to do so anymore.

    I'm very unmotivated to do anything, so a lot of important things on my to-do list are way overdue, and I'm not really working anymore (I work for myself from home). I have no family that can push me to work.

    In other ways, you know when you've been on vacation with close family and after many weeks, when you have to leave, it feels really sad? Well I feel like that also. Although I'm sure I've gotten over most thoughts of suicide now, I can't understand why I feel like I'm going somewhere.
     
  16. "People are strange
    When you're a stranger
    Faces look ugly
    When you're alone
    Women seem wicked
    When you're unwanted
    Streets are uneven
    When you're down"


    This is what depression feels like to me, I can relate to every line.
    I don't know how to explain it any better.
     
  17. Kinetic

    Kinetic Well-Known Member

    Love The Doors and NIN are awesome too
     
  18. Cricket31

    Cricket31 Active Member

    I feel as if I am trapped in my own world. I don't really feel for others but myself. I am not the same person I use to be four years ago. I don't enjoy activties or hobbies like I use to. Somedays my life seems as if its going nowhere and I feel like there's no hope and the only way out is suicide. If it wasn't for my mother right now I wouldn't be here.
     
  19. babycheeses

    babycheeses Active Member

    I find it incredibly banal and crippling sometimes.
    Sometimes all it takes it a small issue in the day to disrupt my mood.

    Sometimes I carry on all day loaded with stress and problem after problem with no major mood shift.

    The worst is when it's accompanied by fear. I don't have panic attacks but sometimes I feel as though I'm driven to panic. I feel sick and the room spins and I feel like I've been detached from every single thing that I need to survive.
     
  20. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    Ive sorta been ok for a few days, except yesterday, I burst into tears for nothing but these pretty much sum up how I feel when I get like that.

    The tears just come and even tho I kno there is no reason for me to cry (I could laugh at myself if I wasn’t so sad) I cant stop it. Being depressed uses huge amounts of energy. I get so tired and I don’t feel like I have the energy to shower or wash clothes or even make something to eat. Would just rather lie in bed.

    I feel like I cant breathe, my heart is suffocating and I just want to rip it out to give it some space.

    Nothing seems enjoyable, cant concentrate on the things I love doing but I don’t want to do nothing either so I get frustrated.
     
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