What did you feel?

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by kidB, Dec 5, 2008.

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  1. kidB

    kidB Active Member

    When I was being bullied by a group of assholes during my first two years of college, the same thing always happened...I felt a paralyzing fear. Everything from stares, to glares, to being grabbed in a cafeteria and being kicked in the back of the leg one time when i was standing in line to pay for my food...it was an overwhelming feeling of fear.

    I'm just wondering if this was just me...how did you guys feel after it happened?

    Any thoughts or stories are welcome to be shared.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2008
  2. betteroff

    betteroff Member

    Utter disbelief. It didn't matter how badly they acted but I still find it difficult to believe someone would act in such ways towards an another human being. I would never do the things they did to ANYONE and I don't understand how they were even capable of doing them. With a clean conscience I mean. Just the thought of it has an effective way of killing my will to live. Thus feeling like not wanting talk to other people never again. I am disgusted with them. Even physically. I feel like throwing up whenever I think of them. I constantly find myself feeling even ashamed for them. But this is probably because it was a lot more serious than bullying generally is...

    Then again I'm angry. It's the kind of futile anger because I can't release it in any way. They were just a bit too many of them that I could have actually done anything with it.

    And deep, deep horror.
  3. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    Humiliation when it occurred, anger after it occurred.

    If it had continued, I'm sure I would have eventually ended up killing him.
  4. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    I've been fortunate. I haven't had a bully threaten me with physical violence since the first grade, and that only happened a few times. I was scared and then relieved when it stopped. While I remember it, it hasn't really stuck with me.

    Now, I had a supervisor who would go out of his way to belittle, embarrass, and otherwise humiliate me. It's left me with a lot of self-loathing (I always ask myself, "what did I do to deserve it? Was I not good enough?") and a deep resentment towards people in general.
  5. bornfree

    bornfree Guest

    Very sad and lonely at first.
    Then angry. No, truly pissed off.

    It happened long time ago at school, I still hold grudges with those fucking bastards though I haven't seen them for many many years. I hope they have suffered all the awful things they have inflicted on me. Cursing possibly did increase the chance of truly bad things happening to them.....

    As for work bullies at least that was just verbal, but, you know, what doesn't kill you make you stronger, so my words are my weapons and whoever crosses me my have to think twice or more before hitting me again after hearing the poison coming from my self-defence mouth....

    Bullies of all sorts should be sentenced to toilet scrubbing, road sweeping and being humiliated by those they admire. Because we all have someone in our lives we admire, either close withing our family and friends circle or those we indirectly know, such as famous personalities.

    Fucking bullies.
    Screwing people's lives for cheap gang entertainment.
    The amount of damage they can cause to a person is beyond believe.
  6. kidB

    kidB Active Member

    Bornfree, this is so true. In fact, these fucking assholes wouldn't say a word or lay a finger on me unless they were all around together. COWARDS. FUCKING COWARDS. Let's single out ONE person for our group benefit? Do they discuss this before the events happen? Do they think they're badass for it?

    I reserve nothing when I say that they deserve the absolute worst. They have no idea what kind pain and trauma they cause an individual, they just think it is funny. Karma's a bitch, but schadenfreude is fantastic...I hope to hear that bad news came their way one day. Won't even wince.

    So yes, anger is an after-effect of bullying. Fortunately, I now know how to not let it happen to me...the anger is almost empowering.
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