What do I do, I just dont know how to continue.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HomerSimpson, Jul 20, 2008.

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  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    I am so alone. I literally have no one is this world except for one person, and I am now losing her. She has been in a abusive marriage for 15-17 years, but finally she got the courage to leave, but under pressure from family she went back. She now plans to quit her job and move away, and thus I am losing the only light I have in my life. I have been suicidal for so many years now, but when she came in to my life we developed an instant bond. We would see each other every day and now all that is ending. How do I continue on when I am losing literally the only person that has kept me going. I feel so empty and alone that I just pray that I will not live to see another day. Some will say you should get out and meet people, but I know many people but I feel a close bond with only one. You can be in a room with 100 people but still be so alone. This is how I feel except when I am with her. So what do I do? I have worried myself sick and even sunk into deeper depression trying to help her with her situation, but finally I was able to accept her going back by telling myself maybe her husband has changed, but how can I accept her moving away before she finally sees if her really has changed. I am sorry for not explaining this better, but I just dont know how to anymore. So you see when I wake up in the mornings I really have nothing or no one. Why go on when there is so much pain.
     
  2. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I kinda understand you. There was a person, and I wasnt feeling alone when I was with her, but I feel alone all the time when im not in the same room with her. And now she is not here, for a very long time. Well, my situation is even more complicated, because she doesnt feel anything about me, and I dont have any reason to continue with my life. So, what to do? I dont know :sad:
     
  3. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    My first thought is that I'm glad to hear that your friend is leaving the abusive home. She's doing what everyone should do. No one deserves to be abused. Unless the abuser has had major counseling and moving back is a gradual thing, testing the waters, I wouldn't advise her to return. It's taking a lot of effort and courage for her to make the break, but she has to do it for her safety and for her self respect.

    Perhaps you will be able to stay in touch online or by phone. While you change from being friends together to being long distance friends, you may just find another person you can begin a friendship with. Remember that friendships take time, so be sure to give yourself time both to adjust from being seperated from one friend to making one of your acquaintances your friend. It can happen. You can survive this transition if you can find the kind of courage your best friend has.

    We encourage and support you here. Keep connected.

    Jim
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I sit not possible for you to continue on with your friendship? I understand it seems like you will always be alone because of losing this bond, but you never know what maybe lies ahead in the future. maybe someone is out there that you will develop an even stronger bond with. Don't give up hope.
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Homer. I'm sorry to hear that you're possible soulmate is going back to her abusive husband and leaving you. You guys can still support eachother as a long distance friendship. Maybe eventually she will have enough courage to leave her abusive husband and be with you. Never give up hope.
     
  6. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    The friendship will continue, but you see the bond wont. Everyday I wake up seeing her is the one thing and only thing I look forward to. The only bright spot in my life. I am 34 years old and this is the closet I have ever been with anyone. You see I gave up having hope for my life a long time ago. So you see when I get up in the mornings there is nothing anymore. I am sorry, but I am sitting here crying just feeling so alone, and hurting so bad. I ask myself what did I do to deserve this. I am not a bad person.
     
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I know it doesnt even compare to the friendship you feel you are about to lose, but you have many friends here hun. Try to let them fill the void a little while you try to see what possibilities lie ahead for you and her. Keep getting support here, you're arent alone and dont ever need to be as long as you turn to the community here.
     
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