What Do I Do? I need advice (Trigger, maybe)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by malack, Apr 13, 2010.

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  1. malack

    malack Active Member

    I recently picked up a cutting problem. Sure, it was recent, but...I go into addictions fast. I already have one arm covered in cuts...

    I recently have gotten a boyfriend. He loves me, and I care about him a lot. Now, we're conflicting. He said I have to chose between him and the cutting. I know its recent, but I can't just...stop. Just like that. This is the greatest feeling, the best relief. I'm so...strangely happy, yet ashamed, that I've found it. But i don't want to stop. I DON'T TO STOP.

    If I don't stop, one of two things will happen. Either he will break up with me. Or worse...he threatened to mainlain herion into his veins. I'm not kidding. And I'm not sure if he's bluffing or not, but I don't think I want to test it.

    What do I do??
     
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I would honestly try to give up the cutting. It may seem like something you need but its best to just stop. To be honest though.. He should be a bit more supportive maybe try to help you stop instead of demanding it.
     
  3. malack

    malack Active Member

    He has so much to live for. He has so much oppurtinity. He's smart, sucessful, wealthy, good-looking...I'm almost jealous of him. He shouldn't do this to himself.
     
  4. CloudCatching

    CloudCatching Well-Known Member

    Self harming is a false comfort, and it's only lulling you into thinking it's okay and that it's something you want to be doing. If you really are addicted to it you should probably find something else that'll get your mind off of it when you want to cut. :\ I know its sounds easier than it actually is.

    And if he's going to blackmail you- I'm actually not sure if that's the right word- like that then maybe you should talk to him about it. After all, relationships can only be built on communication and trust. Because if he's serious.... that's not a habit that he should get into.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 13, 2010
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    start by getting some help for you talk to your doctor gets some support to help you start using positve coping skills. Your scars will always be there they don't leave they will bring you sadness so stop now use the coping skills that will enhance your living not deteriorate it . get help now to stop okay just do it
     
  6. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    he has a point that you should stop cutting. you SHOULD stop cutting. it is, to say the least, a horrible habit that i wouldn't bestow upon my worst enemy. i cant force you to stop, he can't force you to stop either... you have to want to stop. but, you say you don't want to. if you keep going, you'll find that when you DO want to stop, you won't be able to.

    that aside, i'd break up with him anyways. if he's blackmailing you like this, for whatever reason, i don't think he's worth hanging on to. at the very least, talk to him about his blackmailing, it's unacceptable, no matter the circumstances.

    TDM
     
  7. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    When I started going out with my bf I had the same problem as you malack. He said he couldn't watch me hurt myself and it hurt and upset him, which is understandable. What he didn't understand is how much it helped me at the time. He told me to stop or he would start doing it really badly or leave me. Now I was facing an impossible situation, however I knew I had to stop because it wasn't good and because of my work and future career plans.

    I know how hard it is, and I have cravings all the time but I never do it because of him, and because I love him so much. See if you can stop slowly and ask him to support you through it. He needs to HELP you not threaten to hurt himself or blackmail you, because that is just unacceptable and quite frankly wrong.

    Take care hun :hug: xx
     
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