What do I do now?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lost2many, Jan 29, 2015.

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  1. Lost2many

    Lost2many Member

    After reading some of the replies to my post "What if its God's plan?", I'm no longer quite sure if it IS His plan. However, my plan included buying a burial plot and headstone without my wife's knowledge. I paid cash for the plot in the small cemetery where my father is buried, and put a deposit on a tombstone that matches his. Whether or not I complete my plan, it is still important for me to see my headstone placed in the cemetery. My plan involved getting a credit card (again w/o my wife's knowledge) to pay for the balance of the stone. I do have a pre-approved AmEx card offer (no interest for 15 months!) that I can send in, and just make minimum payments. But, if I don't commit suicide in the coming months, and instead die in an accident or from natural causes sometime in the future, no one will know to bury me there (about 100 miles away). I don't know if I should just tell my wife about the cemetery, because when she finally realized how depressed I was a year ago, she wasn't very supportive ("What, do I have to worry about you now? If you need to take something, go see the doctor") If I tell her, I fear she will not understand at all, and the already uncomfortable situation at home will become unbearable, which might have the effect of convincing me that my original decision to die was the correct one. What do I do? Should I continue taking the steps of my plan for now, or tell her about the cemetery so that I don't have to finish paying for the stone in secret?
  2. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member

    Hello !

    I don't know if I can say that .. but I think I will still hope I can be a bit happy if you are at least wondering.

    Question is (not always) but a sane way to find the right pass.

    I am not AT ALL a specialist, but you can probably write a testament with your last will. About the burial.
    I think it is still usefull anyway. SO it is a good things that it is done.
    Maybe that was God plans. So you're done with formality and now you can enjoy your life ! ^_-

    Okay ... this is not super funny but I am sincere when I say it's a good thing that it is done anyhow.
    When you see family struggling when someone dies ... it is helping to relieve them from this.
    So maybe testament ?

    If you don't feel like telling your wife now ... it is a bit sad that she can't support you but you don't need to burden yourself with worry or with unhelping comment from your wife. You might want to talk to a friend or actually try to find a good therapist.

    Keep on holding on !
  3. Lost2many

    Lost2many Member

    Thanks for replying Dewonderland. My wife actually initiated the subject of updating our wills a couple weeks ago, and they are both being done by the same attorney, so there is no way to have my request to be buried there placed in the will without her knowledge. If I do carry out my plan, at least I know that I have pre-planned the funeral and that my family will be financially well taken care of (substantial term life insurance & whole life policy that will pay for burial expenses) and well as my wife will continue to get 1/2 of my pension. But maybe you're right, that God just wanted me to prepare for my death sometime in the future. Again, thanks.
  4. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    I am pretty sure you can do something as simple as put the information in an envelope give it to the attorney and state you do not want it opened until after your death.
  5. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    My attorney said to express your wishes to someone before you're dead; because by the time the survivors get around to wills you are already buried or whatever according to the wishes of the survivors.

    I would try to find a good therapist or councilor. Maybe it's God's plan for you to come here. I didn't read your earlier post but I will.

    Take care and be safe.
  6. Lost2many

    Lost2many Member

    Thanks for replying to me. Since the attorney is handling both our wills I think he would have an ethical problem if I tried to hand him a sealed envelope and instruct him not to tell my wife. Additionally, if I am am still around years from now and die suddenly, the arrangements would likely be made and handled locally before anyone contacted the attorney about a will. I'm not sure why I came back to this site after the mediator removed my first post from the public forum back in October, but maybe you're right cymbele, and something guided me here.
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