What do I do? Opinions please

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by toffeekitten, Apr 29, 2010.

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  1. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    I saw my CPN on Tuesday and she had been rung by my school because of me starving myself. As usual she was really nice, but surprisingly, she said that she isn't too worried about my eating. She said that I need to make sure I have brain power for my exams, but other than that she knows it is just a control thing and a way to cope. She is sure that I will start eating again once my exams are over and things ease off. She said that I just need to keep in control of it and hold back from the thoughts surrounding it to make sure it doesnt become an ED.
    So basically that has confirmed my thoughts that it is nothing to worry about and I can carry on with it. She is getting me some supplement things from my GP and I'm seeing the head psychiatrist on friday so he can see how things are going, and thats it. I just carry on with what I'm doing.

    Now, to be honest, thats not what I was expecting..what do you guys think about it?

    I have only eaten 2 meals in the past 10 days and I'm becoming obsessed with losing weight. I had tea last night and felt sick whilst eating and very guilty afterwards for eating. i felt dirty for having food in my system. I know this isnt normal. I have also started passing out and having dizzy spells. Does this sound like an ED to you? according to my CPN it doesn't. but then when I saw her I hadnt passed out and I wasnt as worried about my weight....bleh. What do I do??!
  2. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    To me it sounds like the start of an ED, something very unhealthy. I think your CPN (idunno who that is..sorry hun) is just thinking its stress related and not something more serious because of the events happening, Your exams...ect. Maybe she thinks its just a phase, like most people do.

    If you think its serious and a danger, go to your CPN and be like "look...I honestly don't think this is stress related. I think I need help" Maybe she'll be more serious about it.

    You need to try to eat more.. I'm worried about you hun.

    Why do you feel dirty with food in your system? Does it not appeal to you at all? Are there any food items that appeal?
  3. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    as someone who went through an ED i can say it sounds like the start, try to get help before it becomes worse, you dont want it to become worse
  4. jenniferelaine

    jenniferelaine Well-Known Member

    Yes. That sounds like the start of an ED, and I would tell your CPN that. Get a referral for a therapist just so things don't get worse?

    In addition:

    -drink your fluids (stuff like gatorade or propel, which is low-cal gatorade *can* help balance out your electrolytes. It's not common for people just starting in their ED to have a heart attack, but it's not unheard of either..so banannas are good too, for the potassium)
    -take a multivitamin
    -If you can avoid the scale, do it!
    -Are there any foods that you *don't* make you feel guilty? A lot of people with eating disorders have what they call "safe foods", which are foods that you let yourself eat without worrying about the caloric content. I tend to be a junk food "safe" person (regular cola for a long time, stuff like cheesecake and donuts)..but if there are things that you can make yourself eat without feeling guilty, then do it! Soup, broths, oatmeal, whatever. Bonus points if it isn't cola and cheesecake ;)
    -Listen to your cravings! If you develop a *severe* craving for something, it is probably because your body is lacking in a nutrient in that food.

    -Also, when do you pass out? Is it when you stand up? If that's the case, it is probably because your blood pressure is taking a nosedive when you stand up. Again, fluids and multivitamins can help.
  5. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    Hey, right a lot of things to answer :)
    ASkylitDrive; a CPN is a community psychiatric nurse. and ye I did get the phase vibe from her. I must admit, the beginning of the week I felt that I was in control and it was nothing to worry about, but seeing how strong these feelings are and how fast this is escalating, I'm thinking maybe I'm wrong...:-/ Don't worry about me, I'm not worth it, honestly. I'm not sure why..It just feels like I shouldn't have food in me, like I should be empty becuase thats partly how I feel in my current family situation. I feel like I deserve to starve and thats why I like being hungry.
    Jenniferelaine; She actually said that its not an ED.
    I have never heard of those drinks, but I am drinking lots of water and things like coke and milkshakes. its the one thing my CPN told me to have.
    My cpn is getting me some vitamins from my Dr and she was gonna get me drinks as well but my Dr said she doesnt think I need them.
    I need to keep an eye on my weight..I want to see how much I'm losing!
    Urm...I don't want to eat anything, but If i have to I guess dry bread would be safe...
    Passing out tends to happen at random times, there is no pattern other than I have a warning as I get really dizzy and space out before I pass out, but the amount of time between my warning and passing out is never the same. I get dizzy when I stand up at times, and when I'm walking around. All lunchtime yesterday I was dizzy then on my way to the leisure centre I found myself lying in a hedge! I obv passed out again. :-(
  6. jenniferelaine

    jenniferelaine Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, but I think your CPN is either full of crap or doesn't know what she's talking about.
  7. Warm Hands

    Warm Hands Well-Known Member

    As someone who is currently suffering through an ED, like everyone else has said, this definately sounds like the start of one.

    I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel guilty and dirty because of eating. I find that I won't feel as badly about eating if I eat fruit and vegetables or other low calorie/no fat/low fat things. So the best advice I can give you is to try to just keep eating things like that. Eat things that don't make you feel that guilty... But keep eating. You don't have to have a lot... Maybe try and have a few snacks throughout the day? At least try to have a little something for breakfast. I find that if I eat early on in the day I'll be more likely to eat later in the day too.

    Also, stay hydrated. This is really important. You're far more likely to have dizzy spells and faint and things like that if you don't. Several times iIn the past I've gone for days without eating. The times when I didn't drink anything either I was so much worse. I was dizzy all the time - surprisingly I never fainted - and I had absolutly no energy whatsoever. The times when I kept hydrated - which was only by drinking tea, so no calories - I still would get a little light headed when I'd stand up and stuff, but it wasn't nearly as bad.

    The fact that you're worried about this is a good thing.. relatively speaking. Of course when mine first started I was worried too and knew it wasn't normal and was sure it was just because I was unhappy at school and once I went back home things would go back to normal blahblahblah and now it's a year and some later and things are worse than ever. So this might make me a giant hypocrite, but I don't want anyone to have to go through what I have and still am. Get help with this now. Maybe it'll only take a couple of sessions with a counsellor of sorts to get your head around these negative thoughts you're developing about food. But you need to try and deal with this before the thoughts and actions become more prevelant and persistant.

    Anyway... I really hope things don't get any worse for you... Try and get help with this before it does... Your future self with thank you. Trust me...

    Feel free to PM me if you want to talk at all about this.
  8. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    This is very dangerous if you are an active person... You can pass out at any time, really...
    If you can you should at least have some veggies everyday in the morning and afternoon. You'd be surprised how few calories some have. You won't gain any weight just by a few veggies, so you don't have to worry.

    Going against what someone said here, I would not avoid the scale.. If you really are following the kind of diet you say you are, you'll be happy every time you get on the scale. And if you start eating a bit and continue to weigh yourself you'll see that you aren't gaining any weight and then you'll feel more comfortable taking in a few calories. (But don't freak out because you will gain some water weight by eating, but it's not noticable weight, people can't tell)
  9. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    Oh hon, I have to agree that your CPN has totally missed the mark on this one.

    It sounds like you definitely do have an ED. And they don't just go away, even if the stress eases up a bit.

    Please insist that she refers you on to someone who specializes in ED's, so they can help you to get past this before it affects your health.
  10. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    10 days is not long enough to diagnos an ED. I think it has to be something like 3 months.
    Also, I forgot to say earlier that it's a bad idea to starve yourself during exams. You won't be able to focus and might do poorly on tests.
  11. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all the replies.
    Im glad I'm not alone in the feeling dirty... and i have been snacking on a few tiny things the past few days. because ive been at home and cant get away with not eating!
    I saw the Dr person that my CPN wanted me to speak to, and he said that we should just carry on as we are at the moment and that he doesn't think I need any medication atm.
    They won't pass me on to anyone else because they don't seem that concerned as yet. :-s
    my exams haven't started yet.
  12. Gem_Gem

    Gem_Gem Well-Known Member

    I am currently in an ED clinic and I was just talking to the nurse about your situation and she said you need to get help as it does sound worse than your CPN is making it out to be. Only you yourself know how bad things are so be completly honest and get help, if one person seems to ignore you or say its a "phase" talk to another person until you find someone who can help, trust me you do not want to end up where I am now. Get help!! Hang in there :)
  13. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much for asking! :) The problem is that I'm running out of people to get help from. My Dr has been informed by my CPN so she isnt gonna be worried and they are the only professional support I have...:/
    thanks again xxx
  14. Warm Hands

    Warm Hands Well-Known Member

    Is there an eating disorder clinic at your hospital or at one near by?

    You could make go there and try and get yourrself into it...?
  15. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    Not that I am aware of...and I'm certain my mum would stop me from doing that.
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