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What do I do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by angus, Oct 18, 2008.

  1. angus

    angus Active Member

    So I understand that what I am about to say will bring loads of judgment down on me. I have never admitted this to anyone and am not sure I should even here, but this part of my life has really started to consume my every waking hour...here it goes...
    I have a beautiful sister who I love more then anything. She has always supported me and loved me and has been there even when I thought she shouldn't be. I have always been able to talk to her about anything, until now. Lately, this summer and on, I have started to have feelings for her husband. He is a really great guy. He is great to talk to and really cares about people. Even though he has depression he doesn't seem to let it consume his life. I love that I can talk to him about these things and he understands. I don't really have very may in my life that do. My sister tries, but being a naturally glass is half full kind of person she doesn't really get it.
    I know that they have a pretty good marriage and I would never think of trying anything. I love my sister and her husband to much to do that, but how do I overcome these feelings?
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Threesome! [Oh god, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it.]

    I'm not sure of all the specifics of the various relationships, but what I would do is either talk to him or her about it, or find someone else. This last one is hard, but it is the most effective thing you can do. I've been trying to do it for much longer than I've ever been in relationships... I nearly found her, but she cooled it off and slightly distanced me. She was married, though not to a sibling of mine.
  3. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    Imo you shouldnt tell anyone, this could ruin ur relationship with ur sister forever. Just because you got feelings for him doesnt mean he's the one.
  4. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    First don't feel bad. It's normal when someone nice listens and gives you the type of attention you need. It's O.k. as long as you don't act on it or say the wrong thing. This needs to be kept to yourself. To get past it you need to give some attention to another man. Almost every woman has had that guy in their life were they've said to themself "he's nice but..." and not thought of him that way. If there is or was a guy like this in your life it may be time to talk to him again and give him a chance.
  5. angus

    angus Active Member

    Thanks for the responses. I am NEVER going to act on these feelings, I love mysister way too much, I just really want to move past these feelings and not have them anymore! It's hard! :sad:
  6. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    You need to find someone to talk to about it. Perhaps subconsciously you're attracted to him because he's 'safe'... someone you can chat, laugh etc with and with whom he don't have to have a proper relationship. But this could seriously mess up the equilibrium of your family, so chatting to a counsellor etc might help you to understand what it's about. Good luck!
  7. angus

    angus Active Member

    It seems so simple to talk to someone, I guess I was so ashamed of even having the feelings that I just didn't want to put the words out there. I had debated on putting it up in here for some time. I think I will bring this up next week when I meet with my shrink. Thanks.