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What do I have (if anything)

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by A Box of Chocolates, Feb 20, 2008.

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  1. A Box of Chocolates

    A Box of Chocolates Active Member

    I'm almost 15 years old. This summer I went through a bad time. My abusive (emotionally and physcially), meth addicted, shitty father tried getting back in my life, one of my best friends moved to AZ which is over 1000 miles away, and I had a incident with my mom calling the police on me cause I broke one of her jewler pieces (was worth like 50 dollars fuckin bitch), and I just fell into a depression. I come from a poor family and shit was getting rougher and rougher. Anyways, I started noticing when school came back I had trouble feeling emotions. I wasn't ever happy about things, I never cried when something sad happened (even when my grandpa died who I loved a lot), life seemed like I had a cloud in my brain, and I just didn't care about my goals. Things are still like this but ever since october or so I keep getting these weird urges to do random things, almost like I'm hyper but I just feel a lot happier and active, like the cloud has shown some sun. These stages only last 3 days at most and usually 1 day at minimum. When I'm in this optimistic attitude any sad thing throws me off and puts me back into a non emotional stage.

    I thought I was manic depressive. I asked my mother who told me I wasn't because these optimistic stages where to short of time and probably are just because I'm a teenager. Life is just so chaotic and I don't know whats wrong with me. At the moment my family doesn't have insurance so seeing a doctor or consular isn't possible.

    Do I have any type of mental illness or am I really just a growing boy :huh:?

    EDIT: I thought I should mention my family has history of mental illness. My father is paranoia schizophrenic and OCD and my mom has always suffered from clinical depression and she takes zoloft for it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 20, 2008
  2. sami

    sami Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry you're going through this! It's difficult to say whether or not your mood swings are because of a manic depression or just hormones. You really should see your doctor about this, at the very least you should have someone to talk to about your family situation, is there no free healthcare/help with fees available?
    I hope you're ok and please keep safe.
  3. A Box of Chocolates

    A Box of Chocolates Active Member

    My mom isn't working and can't qualify for insurance. I can't qualify for a workers permit at the moment so I have no way to see a doctor. When I was a bit younger my dad was able to get us insurance. For a year I was seeing a consular. He said I had some anger problem and depression. My dad got arrested for breaking into someones house so I live with my mom now. I would think it was hormones if it wasn't so constant. It's been over half a year and nothings changed, if anything it has gotten worse.

    Thanks for your reply.
  4. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Hey! I can understand you...Im young too (16 YO) About manic depresion... Do you know lot about it? I mean until i didnt read a lot about it i thought i have it too... Do you have manic and depression epizodes? Manic episodes are when you feel like you are on the top of the world, you have a lot of energy, you dont feel tired... You probaly know what is depression episode...

    I dont know so much about manic depression...Try to look on google for symptomes... Do you have any other disorder? Like OCD or any fobia?
    In case that your depression is mild and that other disorders you have are mild and dont have big impact on your life you dont need professional help, but in your case its seem that you need someone to talk with...

    What about asking for help in school? To talk with teacher you like, or do you have school psyhologist? That was my first step...

    Can you tell me more about your depression or other disorders? Maybe i can help you or find some links for you...

    Everytime you want you can PM, i really like to help people

  5. A Box of Chocolates

    A Box of Chocolates Active Member

    I don't know if I have any others. I can't go to someone at the school because I don't go to a normal high school anymore cause I got expelled because some girl stole a 40 from a minimart during school hours and she said I was involved (I was out front of the store). From what I understand I do have manic episodes. Not so much on top of the world but I feel a lot more confident, social, and optimistic. I don't know if I have any other disorders. My old doctor (but this was years ago) said I had unipolar and Social anxiety disorder but I never got treatment and I left that town.

    EDIT: Just something else I notice I've been doing. I don't know if this is a disorder but it's odd.

    Lst month I was looking at my dogs whiskers and they just made me feel like puking. They looked so gross just how they went into the skin. Then I looked at the hairs on my arm and I got the same feeling. So a little later I looked at a bird and it's feathers just grossed me out majorly. I've also noticed just things that normal humans have or do is just making me feel gross. It's really odd that I can feel so gross about something I do too or have. However I can get over these things by convincing myself they are normal. Almost anything that grows on something can make me feel grossed out.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2008
  6. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    I send you PM:)

    About school... Is there really noone you could talk to?
  7. A Box of Chocolates

    A Box of Chocolates Active Member

    since I got expelled I am going to a secondary school until next year. Which means I go to school 1 or 2 days a week and I stay home the rest. It's full of kids who couldn't make it in mainstream school :/. I could talk to anyone about it but no one could truly help. I've tried and people tell me it will pass or I am just growing. It doesn't make sense when they say that and I'm almost always sad and other kids are having fun with girls and friends and I feel like I'm stuck in a dark hole.
  8. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Are you shure that there is COMPLETLY no one who would care? At least one teacher? I mean what kind of idiots do you have for teachers? I told 2 teachers in my school and both take me very serious...
    I hope that you will find help and get better:hug:
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