I'm so sorry. I have no future that I can see. I don't feel like this right now. I'll continue later if I feel better. I'm so depressed I can't think, not to mention that I'm drunk. I've just tried to contact a couple old female friends of mine and they won't even acknowledge me on the other end of the line when they heard my voice. There's no one for me to talk to when I get like this except Budweiser, and he doesn't listen. I have nothing but a wasted life with no future. What can I do at this stage? Don't tell me to pray. If you want prayer, then you pray for me. God doesn't listen to me! Don't tell me I pray for the wrong thing either! I'm not stupid. And don't tell me to get help now! I can't give up my little part time minimum wage job; it's all I have. I'm 56 years old with nothing to look forward to, no retirement, pension, and if the government has it's way, no Social Security or Medicare either. I'm in failing health with no health insurance and no way to get any. I have no friends, no family, terrible credit, no purchasing or borrowing power, and no hope. What do you say? Advise please. They don't call this the suicide forum for nothing I guess. No threat. Don't worry. I won't, but I sure as hell feel like I don't care if I don't live to see tomorrow, and what with my drinking and high blood pressure medicine and anxiety medicine I hope I don't mess up.