I'm not seriously considering suicide at the moment, but im genuinely confused about why people live and what they live for. I'm in my late teens and im about to take a few exams which are pretty important. I've been working towards these exams for a long while and my university applications depends on me doing well in them. I'm very worried that i will miss out on getting good grades and ive started to question what i would do with life if i didnt get in. Academia has been the only thing that has meant something to me for the last couple of years. It may sound weird, but ive always thought about finding structure and meaning in daily life by being institutionalised. Sort of like in the film shawshank redemption, when brooks is to be released, yet he really wants to stay in priaon. Ive always thought of it as an alternative to suicide; if you dont want to live life in free society, then being in prison or in a mental institution and having your life ordered by a system. It sounds weird, but for me thay seems more ideal than living freely. Ive done a lot of bad things with my freedom and in a sense i just want to be controlled. Does anyone else want something like this? So im sort of asking a very simple and onvious question and i dont really want profound answers but just honest and simple answers. Generally, what do people live for? More specifically, what do you live for and why? Thanks and sorry if this is posted in the wrong part of the forum. Sorry about spelling and grammar as well, i did this quickly on my phone.