What do people think when they see scars?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by notmyyear, May 19, 2011.

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  1. notmyyear

    notmyyear Member

    I'm just curious if people tend to feel pity for those with scars or maybe fear/anger?

    Has anyone ever missed a job opportunity because of them?

    (btw, talking about obvious scars from an attempt)
     
  2. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    I think that's just so different from person to person and what they really are used. I have a best friend who self harm, and I've had friends who struggle with it so for me, I don't really get a reaction cause I'm used to it, or it just isn't a big catcher for me I guess. So it's not like I get that awkward stare/don't stare/change the subject sort of situation, because I just choose to look past it. If the person is close to me, we will talk about it when the person needs it, just like friends do when they need someone. But in normal social situation I don't even focus on it.

    I know some are different though. I had a few scars after an attempt one day, and a girl pretty much screamed ut out in a coffee shop. So that was deffinetly humiliating, but that's how it is. People will react differently, you just have to try not to let that get to you, and possibly block the world out.

    As far as jobs I can't tell you anything. Most of my friends or people I know have a job or had jobs at some point in their life.
     
  3. eagle

    eagle Well-Known Member

    I am becoming less afraid of showing my scars off but i think there is a lot of stigma attached to it and so a lot of people judge you very negatively. i get a lot of stares and negative comments behind my back
     
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    As a person who self harms if I see sscars on someone else I automatically think that they are from self harm. However, people have said to me that is not what they think when they see the scars. I have stories about what happened. It's that I was drunk and fell on a glass coffee table tearing me to pieces.

    I think someone who doesn't self harm is not automatically going to think self harm.

    xxx
     
  5. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    There is definitely a bitchload of stigma attached to scars caused from self-harm or a suicide attempt. I've heard stories of people who have created such deep gashes in their arms that the scars are everywhere. One woman I read about tells others that her scars are from a burn.

    And yes, it's also true that it can potentially hurt your chances of employment. Employers definitely don't want to see that. Of course it's illegal to discriminate based on that kind of thing, but in practice, just like with race or gender or age or anything else they're not supposed to discriminate against, they'll go out of their way to make sure they're not hiring someone who doesn't fit their ideal criteria in their head, and it's very easily deflected by coming up with another reason for not hiring you.
     
  6. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    That's true for me (I don't self harm). I'd assume accident unless the scars are particularly telling in terms of pattern or location. Although, to be honest, I don't think I've ever seen someone in person who had what looked like self inflicted scarring.
     
  7. Kikyo

    Kikyo Active Member

    When people first see my scars, they usually don't think self-harm, except for the few who do it themselves. Usually they just ask me if I have a cat, which I do, and if my cat got mad at me.
     
  8. Yati

    Yati Well-Known Member

    I think they are a person that needs love and a friend. I've never missed a job opportunity because I'm not a cutter. But I can honestly say that is what I feel one I see them. There is no judgement I or anyone could properly make from them, they are a sign of something someone else went through. I hope they can get past it and perhaps that I could help as well.
     
  9. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    When i was in work i was sat at a table with one of my co-workers, during a break, i rolled my sleeves forgetting i had cut myself the night before, i looked at him and noticed him staring at something then i realised what he was staring at, i quickly covered up and then he just stared at me thats when i got up and walked out, another time i was in pharmacy looking for some bandages to cover up the slashes on my wrist when i went to reach for the bandages my cuts were exposed, i looked around to see if anyone noticed and this old man was looking at me he looked like he'd just seen a dead body or something. So it seems like everyone just stops and stares and not say a word.
     
  10. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    i dont honestly care what people think if they see my scars its the cuts i worry about although if they ask i just make up some excuse
     
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