What do you do to socialise

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by asvt, Apr 6, 2009.

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  1. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    Where do you guys go, what do you do to socialise with people. I don't really know anyone and was wondering what do i do to meet people my own age (20). I have tried the princes trust programme but most of the people on it were jerks and just used me. I have tried a few different volunteer projects and nothing i am just so lonely i want to meet some nice people i can hang out and be friends with.
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I find that volunteering really works for me. Maybe it might just be that you haven't found what works for you? I found that it also boosted my confidence and self esteem to know I was helping and making a difference.

    Other options are things like support groups (you should be able to find them through your local MIND), or picking up a hobby, or maybe doing an evening education class, something like that. Just any ways to meet people.
     
  3. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    I get to a point like this but doesn't it occur to you right at the moment you think you are making a friend, you only believe that you really would be alone because you know how it things will end.
     
  4. Sparklemama

    Sparklemama Well-Known Member

    Well its hard for me also to meet new friends.Idk i only have two good friends and whenever i am capable of getting out of the house when my depression lifts a bit i go out with them.Sometimes i enjoy my own company like taking a walk or getting something to eat.I also need to meet new people but im not good at it i seem to be really quiet around new people that they just assume that i am not interested in their friendship and keep it moving when i reality i am just somewhat shy and extremely guarded with new people.
     
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I've been depressed for a while but I also have friends. I honestly don't know why. But these are some behaviors people seem to like.

    1. Put your social mask on and grin.

    2. Be non-judgmental and embrace every person for who they are. Even if you're not the biggest fan.

    3. Have a free flowing smile and respectful disposition -for yourself and others.

    4. Be willing to participate in things and make a fool of yourself. I joined a gay men's chorus even though I can't sing. I took an acting class even though I'm a bad actor, etc.
     
  6. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    I do try to put a somewhat social mask on but people seem to think i'm weird, it's not that i'm weird i just think that i have a bit of an eccentric personality. I mean i'm a nice person and try to go out of my way to help people but i always seem to get taken advantage of and used i just don't seem to meet nice people. The more this happens the more i don't want to socialise with people.
     
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    social masks? i can't do them for long. i try with my sister but i usually end up enraged at the stupidity of it all because her intentions are full of rot.

    right now i have no need to socialise because more often than not it descends into a performance i cannot keep up especially if someone has irritated me/trespassed boundaries or lied (this seems to be the norm tho'). i don't want anyone near me (apart from someone he knows who he is). i prefer being by myself because all energy is going towards myself and helping myself live. i find, that when i do do the social thing with people i slowly need to get away because they drain me, (i can only fake a smile and surface gestures for about 4 minutes at the most) i find i'm dying/compromising myself in some way and my tendency is to flee. suppose it has to depend on the person too. there are very few people in this world that i genuinely enjoy their company. mebbe, i like only two people right now, my advocate (an angel) and a person called chris (sometimes the devil). :wink: but generally, i do enjoy listening to people. a contradiction? or maybe it's cos i feel unsafe around anything less than honesty, sensitivity, listening and clear intentions/communication when people talk to me. i find this is lacking whenever i'm in a group of people and need to get away.
     
  8. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i have truely given up on socialising and trying to work people out.
    in my experience everyone is out for themselves and they cant see past the end of their own noses. which i hate.

    i cant honestly give you tips on where to go,
    just on when you have found the place;
    dont take anyone seriously on their word for a good while after meeting them, be truthful with them, it may help them be truthful with you, dont take everything they say as gospel, and try, TRY not to grasp at every word they say.. thats my big down fall
     
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I'm struggling with that myself.
    Right now, it's facebook and suicideforum hah
    don't think facebook doesn't work though. I've gone out to meet a bunch of new people near me through that site. Chatting and stuff. It works somewhat well, at least for me.
     
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