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What do you do...when it comes creeping back?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gingerkid, Jun 13, 2009.

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  1. gingerkid

    gingerkid Member


    Its 01.32 right now and I'm feeling kinda depressed and sad about myself for no obvious reason. Just sitting and pondering over stuff and feeling kinda stupid for feeling sorry for myself. Also feels like the tears will come rolling out anytime soon now. Just right behind my eyes, like a wall soon to breach with the flood.

    What I wanted to say, even though it feels like I have been living with these thoughts for ages(only like under half a year :rolleyes:), is that I have no way I know of coping with it. No way to just creep back into myself and remember all those happy moments or at least moments when I didnt think of taking my life. You know, something to hold on to?

    So how do you cope with it? Im curious. Im curious about you all, who are sharing this forum with me. All you people who in many ways resembles how I feel sometimes, and have the same thoughts and feelings. All of us who come to this place to share thoughts and feelings...

    Somehow we have managed to come this far. Im guessing we will hold on for a tad longer. But how? I sometimes woke up amazed I haven't taken my life yet, wondering what keeps me back. Im still searching for that thing, that thing which is keeping my life a life. Are you searching too?

    Or have any of you found it? Or something that at least stops you from doing it for just a bit longer. Something, that you know when things is really bad you can come back to and help you calm down.

    Maybe this forum helps me a bit, it is at least a place i can just shout or whisper or cry out my thoughts when I feel like it.

    There's a lot in this world that keeps me holding on I guess... Maybe I just need someone to help me see those things. Will you help me?

    I dont really know anyone of you, but still the same I feel like you are all apart of my family, a shadow family that I can come back too when things go bad and just sit down with and share my silence, my thoughts, my feelings. Anytime when I need it.

    Thanks =-)
  2. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    I like to mask my pain with drugs. When I get really low I think of my kids and what ending myself would do to them. So far that's kept me here.
  3. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    How do i cope with my everydays pain? After 13 years of depression I still don't know the right answer.
    When I was younger I used drugs like weed, m&m, hash. It helped for a little while. But its basically hiding your dirt under the carpet...
    Then a little older I finally found a girl who was interested in me. She was with a guy already, but didnt stop me from having an adventure with her. I was young and naive and just basically wanted to fuck.... Then again didnt help my depression much cause it was but a ephemeral thing.
    Then I got i little older and finally got a real girlfriend!. Best 3 years of my life!
    I thought i had it all. Someone to stand by my side to support and love me.
    Needless to say that Love comes with a price. And now its time to pay.

    How do i cope with pain now? sleep, sleep, sleep, drug, sleep, sleep and suicide forum. im sad
  4. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to s.f. I hope you can find some solace here. There are so many wonderful people with insight who share your feelings.

    I, like one of those above take anti-anxiety and pain meds which are prescribed but which mask some of the emotional pain.

    All I can tell you is that I came here looking for methods but found some peace from talking about me issues and sharing with these wonderful people who know about this kind of pain.

    I hope you will continue to share when you feel up to it and check the threads where others share and from which i have gained valuable insight.

    Take Care
  5. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    The main things which have helped me are talking to people here on the forum and a couple of really good mates who have dragged me back out into the world. My passion before becoming so depressed was mountaineering but I had even stopped doing that. They made me get out and start doing the thing I enjoyed most. Now I find keeping busy is a help intwo ways. One it doesn't give me time to just sit for hours going over and over the same problems but secondly it gets me doing something positive.
    I want to get through this depression and although the thoughts of ending it are a constant companion I'm going to fight them while ever I have the strength left to do so. Sometimes people here at sf have been there to give me the strength when I didn't have it anymore.
    What gives me most strength is the love I have for my daughter and the knowledge of how hurt and devastated she would be. That and the love for the friends I have both in the outside world and here on SF.
    Best wishes. S.
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