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What do you do when suicidal ideations are too much?

Discussion in 'Strategies for Success' started by Purple_Thorn, Feb 17, 2016.

  1. Purple_Thorn

    Purple_Thorn Well-Known Member

    It's been happening quite a lot for me recently. And I'm sure I'm not the only one. Usually, I try to use art to work on moving out of the ideation funk.

    What about you? What do you do and/or suggest people to try when they're in a really bad place?
  2. Citizen Insane

    Citizen Insane Staff Member Safety & Support SF Author SF Supporter

    It became a bit of a longer post/response than expected, my apologies. :)

    Suicidal ideations are especially tough when the people in your environment do not seem to care and when there's no hope for relief in sight. Relief from pain, emotionally and in some cases physically.

    It could feel like the world is completely blind to that fact and then the mental filter, the person who suffers has, will keep trying to confirm it that he/she indeed is alone and feels alone in this battle.

    Finding a way to express these feelings is quite important, I think.

    If I were to be suicidal, am I even asking myself the right questions?

    Q1: Why do you wish to end it?

    A: "Because I do not feel that I can recover from that which has happened to me in this life. There's no cure for this illness and/or disorder I have. This is no life for me to live this way, every day I'm suffering and to what end?"

    What the (sort of imaginary) person is describing is mostly about his despair and loss of hope. And thereby not talking about his/her actual desires. Not the desire and wish to end it.

    Desires that could be: "I wish to be happy, I wish to live a life worth living and fighting for". Somewhere in our minds, we got to actually believe that this is what a life should be about.

    Happiness is never a permanent feeling, though you can be content with yourself over a longer period of time. The body is for sure not made to make a person "happy" and the brain is looking for a lot more than just that as well. Nowhere in evolution was there a single entity who was happy all the time.

    Often I ask myself: "Even if I got those happy feelings in my head right now, would I really be doing anything differently in my life?" I already tell my family that I care for them and have love for them, even if my emotions are mostly numb. I am able to be entertained with my hobbies, like reading, music and playing the guitar, despite my concentration not always being optimal.

    I would advice that you find something that you can still enjoy doing or an activity that makes you not feel the discomfort you usually have. I can't answer which activity that may be, you are the person who knows yourself the best and what you like.

    As opposed to the body having a limit to physical ailments, sickness and injuries, a person his/her mind is more flexible.

    So what does a life look like in the end, when the person has endured all of the mental & emotional pains his/her brain has inflicted onto them?

    Perhaps the question should be: What happens when the person finds his desires not fulfilled, should that person adjust his/her expectations of life in general?
  3. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I like to listen to sad or angry music, or a touching film. Sometimes I feel the only way to get past it (depression/suicidal thoughts) is to go straight through it. That's not always true though. Sometimes I try and force myself to do things I don't want to, like: listen to upbeat music, leave the house (anywhere, even a trip to the shops if I don't need anything), dance, sing, treat myself to nice food, watch a new film or show. Sometimes it works, other times not, but a lot of times I have managed to free myself of those thoughts is by just getting back into the swing of things and making that change to feel better. Maybe some of these will help you too, I hope so.
    ExcuseMyFrench likes this.
  4. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    My number 1 recommendation for "being in a bad place" is to do something. Get up, go out, do something and "get away" from the trapped hopeless horrible - as in physically get away from it by going somewhere else. Sounds a bit nuts maybe, but being busy and changing your surroundings I really believe helps. Even if I go get a coffee in a coffee shop and doodle for a while. I also find planning incredibly helpful. Lists and colour codes and mind maps and "what my life is going to look like in 5 years, 10 years" etc. Give myself something positive to focus on that does not consider the option of dying.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    These are some things I do...read, write, talk to people, listen to music, play music, clean, spend time with my nephew, find something that makes me laugh, watch tv and movies I like. Just try to block the thoughts as best I can.
  6. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    Write in my journal. It helps for me to vent. Sometimes I vent here when the SI feelings are too strong and I want to be heard in a safe place.
  7. normaljoe

    normaljoe Well-Known Member

    I like to visit r/awww on Reddit. its great for a case of the awwwws. it will melt your heart hahaha if I can't do that then I i begin to isolate. I will talk to a good friend not about my feelings but just talk, small stuff. if I can't do that then I sleep. Before, I got into a fight with my sister and I didnt want to be awake for fear of another rehearsal/attempt so I dosed myself wtih a sleep aid/ prescription med (normal dose) and I slept through the night. last time I slept from 4pm to 9am. that is definitely time dependant though. I cant take em at like noon cause i have these stupid adult obligations.
  8. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I cry my heart out for the hurt I caused and guilty of hurting the third party. The pain within will be there forever and something I have to live with for the rest of days. I don't think I can move on with my life but try to keep focuses on helping others in the local town and online. Learning from my mistakes, I know that life is important and have to keep the lighting the flame of desire to live from within. You have to find a purpose in living and I think I have found my purpose in life. Saving people, is the best job in the world. If I have saved one life then I would count that as my success for coping with overcoming ideation of suicide. I feel the ideation everyday, but I cope on a day by day basis knowing I hurt someone's feelings who has no doubt forgot about me and laugh at my expense. When you reach at a low point in your life, the only person who can help you, is yourself. Be strong for yourself and for others who are less fortunate around you.
  9. Persephone2

    Persephone2 Active Member

    If I had a 100% reliable answer to this problem, I wouldn't be on these forums. I do have a few tips that used to help me though.

    I see the primary problem as one of negative thought cycles. I tend to go through periods of anxiety, depression, despair, calm, and anger. When I'm in the anxiety to despair part of the cycle, suicidal ideation is common. When I'm in this phase, I realize that I don't really want to follow through on my thoughts, so I sometimes go with them until I think of how doing that would hurt the people I care about. Other times, I try to change what I'm thinking about, to stop the negative thought cycle. Taking our dogs for a walk helps. So does going to the grocery store, watching a TV show that I like, or just taking a St. John's Wort capsule and going to sleep. Anything that stops the negative thoughts is good, but if you can do something that makes you laugh or feel good about yourself, that's the best.

    Once, when I was in the middle of a relationship breakup, I went into the grocery store to look for some kind of brownies or pastry to make myself feel better. I realized I was doing this I said to myself in my mind, "Pastry fills the empty place inside." That thought was funny, so it made me feel a little better. I also used to like to sing to myself a funny song from the old Hee-Haw TV show that goes, "Gloom, despair and misery on me/ Deep dark depression, excessive misery/ If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all/ Gloom, despair and misery on me." This is a way to recognize what we're doing to ourselves mentally and then laugh about how silly it is.
  10. Purple_Thorn

    Purple_Thorn Well-Known Member

    I want to thank everyone, EVERYONE, who has been replying to this thread. It's been incredible for me to read everyone's ideas and experiences and knowing I'm not alone. I've seen amazing ideas that I feel like will really help me.

    Thank you so so much.
  11. some_random_name

    some_random_name Well-Known Member

    I write because it makes me feel better. Have no one to talk to? Talk to paper.

    Write down whatever is on your mind. A poem. A couplet. It makes me feel better.

    I hope this...well what I use as a coping mechanism.
    Petal and Persephone2 like this.
  12. some_random_name

    some_random_name Well-Known Member

    Works. I accidentally sent it before I was done.
  13. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Distract myself. Write in a diary. Do some light exercise, eat well and take care of myself (well-to the best I can). Wishing that one day my niece will talk to me again properly, she's a sweetheart and as bold as she is I love her very much she's my angel in my eyes at least :)
    Persephone2 likes this.
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    These days I take really hot baths to calm me down and it works very well. I feel relaxed and refreshed afterwards. It is a good healthy coping mechanism too :) Killing two birds with the one stone as well. Another coping mechanism is to get a wash and blow dry at the hairdressers, it makes you feel good too :) A real pick me up.
  15. Persephone2

    Persephone2 Active Member

    I was the closest I've ever been to killing myself the Tuesday before last. I had a statistically effective means at hand, but then changed my mind. First I thought "I'm hungry", so I got some food and ate it. After that I felt slightly less like I wanted to kill myself. Then I sat in my car by a park that I thought I might sleep by when I'm homeless. I listened to National Public Radio, to an interview with a woman who used to be a heroin addict, but eventually got clean and now helps other addicts. Then I tried to sleep in my car, but I couldn't sleep. I thought this is sort of like camping, but I want to sleep in my own bed. So then I went home to sleep. I checked myself into a 23 hour Mental Health Crisis Respite Center the next day. I was able to calm down there and get some help. They made sure I didn't have access to my means to kill myself before they let me leave.

    I've been technically homeless now for 4 days, but I can still sneak into the house to use the bathroom, shower & sleep in my bed. I contacted one of my nephews to come get family photo albums and things. We just had a nice visit and he gave me some money to live on. It really helps me to know he cares. My other nephew acted like he didn't when I talked with him on the phone.

    I was more stressed and scared at the thought of being homeless than I have been while I actually am homeless, so far. I been working to clear out my stuff from the house, sort what to keep and what to get rid of, sell some things, and organize the rest in my car so my dog has room in the back seat. Activity and making plans has been better for my mental health than just sitting and imagining the worst that could happen. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I found I have $50,000 in my retirement plan from my last job that I may be able to cash out. That gives me hope. My dog gives me a reason to keep going each day too. I still need a plan for the mid-term, but I'm working on it.