what can a person do when they have absolutely no hope of achieving happiness and peace of mind? every single shred of hope has been beaten out of me over time. i reach new lows every day. i am filled with self hatred and self disgust. each and every day is a living hell. i have destroyed myself and my life beyond repair. there is only temporary relief from the mental anguish, and all it does it mask it. i don't believe this will get better. i cannot achieve my goals and i will be in this lonely pit of darkness for the rest of my life. i am scared to die and i am scared to live.