What do you do when you don't have a choice?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by unregistered19, Aug 5, 2010.

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  1. I will die soon. I'm so scared to die but I have to. It's better than living in this pain. It's better than crying myself to sleep or not being able to cry some days. It's better than cutting to try to relieve the pain. No mater what I do the pain is still there. I don't have a choice. I found this website where there are methods and each method is explained and it's certainty is provided. I'm so tempted to use one of the methods. I'm scared of myself. I'm so scared. I just don't know what to do.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Why do you feel you have to die? Don't research methods. Please call someone , tell someone how you're feeling. You're not alone. How about joining this site, come into chat and talk to us :hug:
     
  3. I'm already a member of this site. Nobody would care anyway. I don't know why I want to die. I'm just so angry these days. I'm just so scared. I have a psychdoc but I'm too scared to call her. Don't know what to say if I call her. I just don't have a choice. I just looked down from the balcony of my flat and I felt so tempted to jump. I live on the 6th floor so I know I'd die if I jump. I know a part of me still wants to live and that's why I'm not jumping but I'm just afraid that part of me is dissappearing. I'd understand if noone replies. I know I'm pathetic.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I think you should call her-and tell her exactly what you've said here. She's your pdoc, that's what she's there for. You're not pathetic. Depression or whatever is making you feel this way is making you feel you are, and I'm sure that people would and do care.
    Please don't jump :( There are other ways out of it, without resorting to that.
     
  5. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    There is a paradox here because you do have a choice but the choices you see are between two unpleasant outcomes. Sounds like you are very isolated. Crying is good for you. But sometimes you are not able to cry. So when you can let it work for you. And look for any spark, any chink of light in the darkness, any choice however trivial that will give you sense of your own agency. It may take enormous effort but try to do something that will take you out of yourself, so do something different, break your routine so there is a sense of hope. You do not want to die, you want to get rid of the pain. And pains do go away; it helps if you can distract yourself from them by some positive activity that gives you sense of achievement. Better to have others on your side if you can find them but at least you must try to be on your own side.
     
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