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What do you do when you want to die but don't have the courage to do it?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Colourful, Jan 6, 2010.

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  1. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    I am SURE I want to end it now.
    I'm not on here for people to ask me what's wrong or try to talk me out of it, please. But I am desperate because I just can't bring myself to do it, and it is NOT because I want to live. I have just always been a very fearful person and can never bring myself to do things.
    Earlier I was so close but I just couldn't take that final step. So what the fuck do i do? Where do I find the courage to do so?
    Another thing that puts me off is failing, although that's not much of a problem.
  2. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I want to die too but I have to wait til atleast next month.
    I hope you don't do it though. I'm here if you want to talk.
  3. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    I am in the exact situation that you are. I have everything I need and I don't want to live, but I cannot do the last act because the fear of the unknown overwhelms me. Same for you? Fear of death?

    For me its the fear mostly of what happens after I die and also the process (but not so much as my process is 100% lethal when done right and not painful at all).

    So you want to know how to make yourself do it? Heres the answer. You can't. At least I can't (however if I'm dead I would not be here to claim otherwise would I!!?).

    I am doing things so that I will be able to commit the last act. I'm not going to tell you how at all just that I'm working on being able to commit the last act. If you were the same person as myself, I would love have a conversation about suicide and my feelings, but often we are just people who want similair results, but for different reasons.

    PM if you want, I'm 20 by the way.
  4. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    Well obviously i'm scared about what's going to happen after...but that's not really what's holding me back. It's just the process, it's fucking scary and I just don't want to go through all that panic and that...I guess I'm just a coward.
    If I had a painless and 100% effective method I would've done it already.
    Actually It wouldn't even need to be 100% effective, I would still try it if it wasn't, I just want it to be painless and quick.
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Commiting the act isnt something that you are going to be able to "learn" or "condition" yourself for. You've either got it or you dont. That fear that you have is the part of you that wants to hang on. It's trying to show you that you really dont want to take your life. Yes!!! You want to end the pain and bullshit you have to face. But you really, on some level, know that you dont want to die.

    So if you cant bring yourself to commit the act, then take this time to try and find all the options that you can that will help you to work on the problems. I know not an easy thing to do at all. Especially when every fiber of your being is screaming out to die. To be rid of all the pain. But you really dont have many other options at this point. You can be upset and miserable because you want something you know you will never get. Or you can work on fixing the pain so that the thoughts and urges arent always there feeding your brain with torture.
  6. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    I used to say that man, but trust me, you really wouldn't be able to do it easily. When your close to doing it (and I mean like when your seconds away from the point of no return) your survival instinct kicks in and its terribly hard to do.

    Most suicides are not planned, they happen impuslivley, thats why guns are the main method used, not because they are the easiet, or most lethal (because guns really are not as lethal as you might think, and the risks if you survive are not worth it). Its very hard to go through with a planned suicide. You cannot, not commit suicide because you don't have a lethal method (because eventually you may find one) but you must not commit suicide because you're afraid to die, or at least want to live.

    I guess I agree with you, its the process of dieing that I'm most scared of. Let me tell you (for me), first your head feels really light, you feel a little pressure in your head (but it doesn't hurt) then a few seconds later the outer area of your vision begins to blacken, no matter what you thought or your state of mind before this, at this point (near death) you will be terrified, its instinctual. You can't fight it. At this point you prolly never experienced the "survival instinct" (unless you've actually been close to death) but let me tell you I have, and its not pretty.

    I don't think I even asked this before, but if you want intelligent nonjudgmental, unconditional acceptance and advice - PM me.
  7. serena

    serena Well-Known Member

    I think this might be a good thing even though it can be frustrating. I understand that you don't feel like living, but maybe its supposed to be this way to help you hang in there for a little while longer. Just a thought.
  8. samba101

    samba101 Member

    I know what the fear is like I went to <mod edit: *sparkle*: methods> but chickened out because I was frightened of what was to come. I was <mod edit: *sparkle*: methods> at night and couldn't do it, lost my glasses in the procession and had to walk back to my cousins without being able to see properly.

    I've tried suicide on many occassions but just couldn't do it. Only once did I suceed and that was my first attempt, the pain took over and I overdosed only to wake up crying when I realised I was still alive.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2010
  9. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    What do you do when you want to die but don't have the courage to do it?

    I lay down and rest.
    I remember that such an impulse will pass.
    In some ways, I think it takes MORE courage not to kill yourself, so don't beat yourself up - you're not a coward. Those who battle with fearfulness tend to be the most brave & resilient when it really matters. At any rate, anyone who isn't at least somewhat fearful ('wary' might be a better word) living in our society is lacking in humanity. Take care.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 8, 2010
  10. When I think of suicide, which is quite often, the only thing that holds me back is the pain. I would embrace death. That's why I think of suicide. So I can escape the pain here. I know I would be profitable in death rather in the physical world but I'm scared of the pain not of death or the act of dying. I think of ways to kill myself that would be quick, easiest and the least painful. <Mod Edit: IrishDoll,Methods>
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 9, 2010
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