I'm already dead inside. My life consists of waking up and crying till I feel tired and go to sleep. When I'm asleep I have nightmares about the horrible people/events from my past then I wake up and do it all over again. No one calls anymore because no one cares. I constantly live with the feeling of heartbreak. Even if I could get out of bed I have no future because I don't want to do anything in my life. I know what its like to have money, friends, success, and attractive guys fall for me - so nothing is a mystery nor do I yearn for these things. Everything good in my life was either a lie or ended horribly. Everyone I have ever cared about, family, friends or lovers, has fucked me over and left. Despite being in this state I still tried to make friends but history just repeated its self. I can't make new friends because I don't trust anyone and no one gives a shit anyway. The only form of communication I have with people is when my roommates yell at me or my mum calls to yell at me, so I have no positivity/happiness in my life. Sometimes I wish it didn't end like this and I don't know why it did because all I've done my whole life is spread happiness, love, and laughter and still had every single person I know stab me in the back. Anyway, being in this misery every day is torturous, to say the least. Death is the only solution and I am more than ready but I want to wait till the holidays when everyone is out of the apartment which is in a few weeks.. so I don't know what to do until then...
What do you do when you've given up and just waiting till the end?
- Thread starter Shannew
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So sorry that all this has happened to you and you're now in this current frame of mind. I can understand how defensive you are when it comes to trying to make new friends, hell I've been in that same situation myself, in fact I still am to a certain extent.
Naturally, I assume that you have already considered help in the form of drug therapy/counselling so I am not going to beat on about that unless you want me to. If I knew of a quick fix for the pain you're going through at the moment then it's yours. But all I can offer is support, and hope that you do not take that final step during the holidays or at any other time.
Be kind to yourself and stay safe.
Ash
Naturally, I assume that you have already considered help in the form of drug therapy/counselling so I am not going to beat on about that unless you want me to. If I knew of a quick fix for the pain you're going through at the moment then it's yours. But all I can offer is support, and hope that you do not take that final step during the holidays or at any other time.
Be kind to yourself and stay safe.
Ash
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