You feel quite content, upbeat and productive but are having obsessive thoughts about suicide? I don't feel depressed, not in the slightest. I actually feel pretty good in myself, but I am planning out my suicide in my head. I don't quite understand where it's coming from but I know if it continues I will begin to spiral and things got really bad last time. Why is this happening when I feel alright? Why am I planning my suicide? I am worried cause I have poor impulse control and worried I would just go and do the deed without thinking or knowing what I'm doing.