- Status
W
Its ok dont worry.It means a lot to me just that you replied.Thanks.
I should have said also in my earlier post that these people are very important to me and thats partly why i wouldnt want them to think im being untrusting and dont care about them if it is actually just me being paranoid but as i say its important to me [especially cos of how important these people are to me] to know that they are telling the absolute truth about some things and they may be but im not sure and its just nagging away at me - im just confusing myself with it all and going around in circles.
If that makes any sense.
I should have said also in my earlier post that these people are very important to me and thats partly why i wouldnt want them to think im being untrusting and dont care about them if it is actually just me being paranoid but as i say its important to me [especially cos of how important these people are to me] to know that they are telling the absolute truth about some things and they may be but im not sure and its just nagging away at me - im just confusing myself with it all and going around in circles.
If that makes any sense.
that makes total sense to me. im paranoid about friendship and i too feel that "im just confusing myself with it all and going around in circles".
so dont feel alone by this or be worried by it.
i hope everything works out for you and if you ever want to PM me about this feel free. (although i dont know if you can because on my screen it doesnt look like you are a member)
so dont feel alone by this or be worried by it.
i hope everything works out for you and if you ever want to PM me about this feel free. (although i dont know if you can because on my screen it doesnt look like you are a member)
hmmmm..well i lost my husband 10 yrs ago. we were married 2 and a half months. we were soulmates (or so i thought) he was everything i could ever ask for. i mourned him for those 10 yrs. his friend, a woman i grew to love dearly moved in with and helped me through his death. she became my dearest and closest friend. just recently she told me she slept with my husband while i was with him.. good friend huh? he wasn't who i thought he was. and why would a friend say something like that knowing how much i loved this man.. i trust no one...
B
what do you do? as time goes on you will find that it is impossible to trust anyone. is this what you want to hear most likely not but the hard truth is that is the way life is. people lie to you and themselves everyday, most don't even know that they are lying anymore because they do it so often. don't get me wrong i am just as guilty as the next i will not be so bold as to not include myself.
the longer i am around the more i distrust humans in general. we are taught to lie almost from the time we are taught to speak. how can people trust each other when most don't trust themselves. your family lie to you everyday as do your friends and coworkers, it is just what happens. no matter a friend, family, or someone that says they love you, you can never really trust them because given time the will prove to you that you shouldn't have.
don't mean to take away your hope but as it has already been said every time you really try to open up and trust someone you will be shit on. just a guess here but maybe the reason it is bothering you so much is unlike most of the masses out there you understand that you shouldn't intentional give your word when you know that you can't keep it. most no longer care to even think about that it is just something they do every day with out thought.
the longer i am around the more i distrust humans in general. we are taught to lie almost from the time we are taught to speak. how can people trust each other when most don't trust themselves. your family lie to you everyday as do your friends and coworkers, it is just what happens. no matter a friend, family, or someone that says they love you, you can never really trust them because given time the will prove to you that you shouldn't have.
don't mean to take away your hope but as it has already been said every time you really try to open up and trust someone you will be shit on. just a guess here but maybe the reason it is bothering you so much is unlike most of the masses out there you understand that you shouldn't intentional give your word when you know that you can't keep it. most no longer care to even think about that it is just something they do every day with out thought.
G
I feel exactly like you. I can understand the circumstances behind whenever people betray my trust but that doesn't take away the wound. I can trust a person to a certain extent but I will keep the person at a long distance until I feel safe...
I can only fully trust myself in this world, that's what I've recently found out. When you're in need, when you're vulnerable and suffering and repeatedly humiliated and crawling in the dark there's absolutely no one there to help you apart from yourself. That sounds harsh but that's the truth.
I can only fully trust myself in this world, that's what I've recently found out. When you're in need, when you're vulnerable and suffering and repeatedly humiliated and crawling in the dark there's absolutely no one there to help you apart from yourself. That sounds harsh but that's the truth.
We are not responsible for others actions. If they are telling the truth or lying.. it's on them. Personally, I take everything everyone says to me with a grain of salt and if you are really wondering if it's true or not can you go to the source and ask?
It's like the difference between a biography and an autobiography. A biography is the story of a persons life written by someone else, an autobiography is the authors life. Which do you think is most honest?
One could argue that an autobiography is a first hand account and therefore most true to the source. But one could also argue that other people have less to loose in being honest and can be more objective. After all, an alcoholic may not see they have a problem at all. Are they lying when they tell you everything is ok and they don't have a problem? They just can't admit the truth to themselves and therefore can't tell the truth to others.
Truth is more complex than what someone says or even how they say it.
At best, we can only be responsible for are own "truth" and for representing ourselves and others honestly.
Trust is something that is earned. The more we learn about others and can verify what they tell us as true the more we can trust them. That doesn't mean they can't swerve from that path and fool us. It just means from our observations they are not likely to do so.
It's ok to not trust people without reason to do so, even wise. But it's also true that you have to get to know them a bit before you can assume they are NOT trustworthy. Catch 22.
It's like the difference between a biography and an autobiography. A biography is the story of a persons life written by someone else, an autobiography is the authors life. Which do you think is most honest?
One could argue that an autobiography is a first hand account and therefore most true to the source. But one could also argue that other people have less to loose in being honest and can be more objective. After all, an alcoholic may not see they have a problem at all. Are they lying when they tell you everything is ok and they don't have a problem? They just can't admit the truth to themselves and therefore can't tell the truth to others.
Truth is more complex than what someone says or even how they say it.
At best, we can only be responsible for are own "truth" and for representing ourselves and others honestly.
Trust is something that is earned. The more we learn about others and can verify what they tell us as true the more we can trust them. That doesn't mean they can't swerve from that path and fool us. It just means from our observations they are not likely to do so.
It's ok to not trust people without reason to do so, even wise. But it's also true that you have to get to know them a bit before you can assume they are NOT trustworthy. Catch 22.
Last edited by a moderator:
Thats why most of us are here at this forum. Most of us are done with life and most of us just want to die. But we're here talking to each other and talking things out. This is where we belong. Theres always someone here to talk to (including me). If you want to talk to someone or just vent out your frustrations theres always someone here (you can PM anytime, i mean it:smile
- Status