New here, hope this will help me, as it really is a last resort for me. I have only recently been diagnosed with bipolar, but have had it for many years. Before being diagnosed, back in September i packed in my job because i couldn't cope. 3 weeks ago, my fiance and partner of 10 years left me as she couldn't cope with my constant mood swings. I have never planned my own death until now, i have lost everything. My job, kids, house, sanity and the most beautiful woman a man could ever wish for. I have never been so low in all of my life, and the pain is too much. Everyday i wait until night time so that i can sleep, but then wake up to go through another day worse than the previous. The pain is unbearable, i feel i have already lost my life.