what do you tell people? what are your excuses?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by black_rose_99, Apr 1, 2011.

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  1. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    I just wore short sleeves around someone for the first time since I sliced my arms up at Christmas for the first time in years. It felt so, so odd. I felt naked, exposed, even though I didn't go close enough for her to see. I hope they're healing. I think they are. I want to get to the point where I just don't worry about it, but I'm not yet sure how to answer the questions of how I got them.

    What do you say to people if/when they ask? Do you tell them the truth? Do you make something up? How do you know if you're ready to tell the truth? What excuse do you make up? How do you phrase it if you tell the truth - joke it off, breezy, seriously?

    Honestly, I'm tired of wearing long sleeves already and it's only three months. I don't want to be ashamed or hide it, but yet I am. Any answers would be much appreciated.
  2. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    i usually tell people that i'm not sure how it got there.

    or something along those lines

    only very few people know the actual truth
  3. theaterfreak

    theaterfreak Well-Known Member

    if people ask i just go ahead and tell them. but only one person has ever asked. so no big deal
  4. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    @ lost and alone - I have a whole row of them on my forearm. If it was only one or two, I'd definitely use that, but I'm not sure how to explain 20 of them.. Although you might have 20, I was just assuming when you said it not them... plus I want to give you a hug :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 1, 2011
  5. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    @theaterfreak - Tell them how? Like, in what way? Like, "oh yeah I did them to myself when I was hurting?" How did it go down?

    Sorry I know I'm asking a lot of questions.

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 1, 2011
  6. theaterfreak

    theaterfreak Well-Known Member

    the one time i can remember i was already kinda pissed off at the world. but i tried to be nice about it and be like i cut myself. then of course you get the questions and i tried to explain but i don't think i was very good at it that day. i have also gone to a psych class and told part of my story. here in the states it's very very hush hush and i wish i had more guts so maybe it'll stop being that way
  7. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    i used to say it was my cat...which was pretty retarded and everyone always knew the truth since its too obvious. it was just the first thing that popped in my head.
    the last time someone noticed it was an old friend of mine who didnt say anything but i told her all about it a little later.
    usually people notice but dont say anything and im very thankful that they dont ask. its terrible enough that they noticed, i dont want to have to pass out from having to tell them.
    one time someone saw them and asked me out right a few minutes later
  8. barto

    barto Well-Known Member

    Yup me too. Lamest. Excuse Ever. But that is what I always use. The right amount of humour can cover anything up.
  9. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    Well one time I told someone that the ones on my leg were from tripping up the steps of a station when I knocked myself out (a funny story actually). Obviously they didn't believe me...
    Used the cat excuse on my mum once and she bought it.
    Usualy people don't notice but if a good friend asks I just tell them. The few people who know are very understanding even though they don't get it 100%.
  10. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    I blame my cat....She isnt declawed and she thinks that everything that moves is her play thing.......so its a believable story...although im starting to think that she KNOWS im blaming her and shes mad about it......O_O
  11. AlopexAngel

    AlopexAngel Chat Buddy

    I tell people that the fresh cuts are from my cat but I haven't had a new one in a while.

    If people notice the scars and say something, which usually doesn't happen (only happened twice or so) I just say they're some scratches and move on with the conversation. No one's been rude enough to push the subject.
  12. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I dont make any excuses. I just say right out... I cut myself. In a no nonsense way. People dont generally ask anymore about it. Some turn away, others stick it out. But there is no sense in lying about it. It is a part of who you are. Those that dont like it or cant stomach it good riddance. Those that stick around, bless you.
  13. Stripe

    Stripe Well-Known Member

    Growing up I dont think I really needed excuses. People just didnt ask. They probably ignored it or put 2 and 2 together without me needing to spell it out for them.
    But that was when I was cutting my arms up. Have not done that for quite a few years.

    The last times I cut I did it on the palms of my hands and did it shallow. Scars dont show up that well and everyone cuts their hands sometimes. My last story was that I dropped a glass and cut my hand clearing it up. Simple and believable excuse.

    Thankfully I think Im finished with slicing myself up these days.
  14. DiamondDust

    DiamondDust Member

    If I was asked, I'd blame a cat- we have four and three of them are right grumps who will often go for you if you so much as go near them.
  15. Beth92

    Beth92 Member

    I cut my upper legs so they wont see, so I dont need to make excuses.
  16. kmj221

    kmj221 Well-Known Member

    I don't really have people ask. I think the people I'm around at all pretty much know about cutting. I didn't have to explain to everyone, anything. I don't necessarily hide it. My philosophy is "it's not that big of a deal, and if I choose to cut then it is my decision to do so.". I'm the one who has control. kmj221
  17. kokie

    kokie Member

    I have always lied about them... hen they are small i say they are from prunnign roses or doing some gardening thing that includs a tree with lots of torns... (i tried that last one with some doctor... but he did nto buy it and gave me 'THE' look :S)... the ones that left a more noticeabel scar.. i said i had no idea... i said it was maybe a time i was on a ladder and was about to fall... and grabed to anything i could.. but since i was allsore i did not even noticed...
    with some of the small i actually todl th truth ad then laughed as uf t as a joke,. then changed the subject... so the questionw as forgoten...
  18. Androgyny

    Androgyny Well-Known Member

    Managed to avoid that by wearing stuff that concealed it all times.


    Someone very near and dear to me convinced me to have the courage to expose it. With her encouragement, I found the strength to do it.

    I've now exposed the area oto the public on a handful of occasions. Funnily enough, no-one has asked about it! Guess we think people notice more than they do!

    If someone asks, I'm more than likely to hit them between the eyes with the truth. I'm tired of running.
  19. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Hey guys, thanks for your feedback - seems there are a lot of viscious cats out there ;) And you kinda confirmed - that would be the first thing I would think to say as well.

    I don't think I'm concerned about the people closest to me - they would all understand. In a weird way, I'm kind of more concerned about the people that I'm not overly close with - like the people I do a class with, or the people I work with. I know if they're not close, it doesn't matter, but it's this weird hang up I have. They're friendly and lovely people, and some day for some of them I'd like to be close friends with, but in the meantime, I don't wanna be the weird girl who cuts herself. But I think that's more my hang up than theirs.

    I like that your experiences are similar in that people don't really tend to ask or push the subject. I think it's comforting.

    Androgyny - what kind of stuff did you use to conceal? Was it just clothes? I know long sleeves etc. I've tried make up but it doesn't really work - my scars are like dents, and the make up just goes into the creases and doesn't really hide anything. I think you're right too - I think we are more conscious of it than other people are. What right do I have to think that people are even paying that much attention that they'll notice the state of my arms?!

    And Stripe - I'm glad to hear that :)

    Thank you all so much for your time to respond xx :hug:
  20. Androgyny

    Androgyny Well-Known Member

    Just clothes. I've always been conscious to restrict it to areas that are concealed by even just the sleeves of a t-shirt.
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