i was asked this question today by the home treatment team and my doctor (suprisingly both in the same day ) my doctor think it is because i still love my family and i want to 'hang on' for them . but to be honest , i think the only reason i m here is because i dont think i had find the 'good way' to end it yet. i had many OD , cutting ,or other suicide attampt , but none of them work. . I am not scared that it work and i killed myself ,even with pains or agnony . but i m scared that after it i woke up and still feel how i was ,notice i fail once again and have to face the gossip between the relative as well as seeing how i m becoming more of a burden then i m now to those who love me and those who i love. if i got a 100% way to making sure it would work and dont have problem reaching for it , i prob would have go for it ..... what about you guys ?