this is how dyer my life has gotten.... pretty much the way i cope with my depression is i take ridiculous actions without giving a thought to the consequences. for example, i plan on growing marijuana because i think it might help my depression and give me something to keep me occupied. i chose marijuana because i smoke it anyways (never when I'm feeling to down though) and have friends that also smoke it, so i can give it to them. so anyways, my point is, I'm growing marijuana, and ignoring the risks because i figure the risk is worth the potential of having something that would make me happy. I can honestly say i have NOTHING in my life to look forward to, my life at 20 years old is effectively over. so now i shall over achieve at things just to make me feel good about myself. pointless thread hey?