What do you think when someone says they love you?

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Brittless, Jun 30, 2016.

  1. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    Usually when someone tells me they love me I think hush and pipe down, liar... just curious if anyone else has a problem with this or is filled with warmth and happiness? Also, sorry if this is sort of a dark topic, I wasn't sure where to post..
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Well I have a hard time believing them. I have mostly been treated badly by people who have claimed to love me. So I don't know if real love exists for me. Besides that, I feel really badly about myself, so I can't imagine how anyone could care about me that much. But I suppose if you change your outlook on yourself, and see yourself in a positive light, that will change the way you view love.
     
  3. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    I used to think that no one could really love you until you loved yourself but my view is a little skewed on that as my boyfriend loves me very much... I hope.
     
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  4. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    When I came out of hospital, I made a point of telling my partner every night, as we went to bed that I loved her. She said she loved me. But then a couple of nights I stayed up watching a film or something, so it didn'g get said as per usual. I left it for a few days to see if she would tell me she loved me, but to this day she hasn't. I know she is angry after my suicide attempts, but now, I am just not sure she does actually love me anymore, or at least in the way she used to. I am not even sure I would believe her now if she did tell me she loved me. But we are having some family meetings with the CMHT and hopefully that will help us rebuild a little bit?
     
  5. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    I hope it helps both of you put things in perspective. I have trouble telling those I care about that I love them when I am seriously angry with them. She might be the same way, but I wish you the best at the family meeting.
     
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  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Agreed. I was the same way but if you think about it, it's usually the case that people love you even when you don't love yourself.
     
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  7. Mira_Ciara

    Mira_Ciara Active Member

    I usually think "Why? I'm an asshole. I appreciate it greatly though".
     
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  8. Serein

    Serein SF Supporter

    Only two people truly love me. So, when they tell me that they love me, I obviously believe them. If it's a guy though, I inevitably think: "You are lying. Who do you think you are fooling?" and "You must want something from me." I know it's awful, but it always happens this way and I just can't help it.
     
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  9. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    This is what I usually think. They have to spend a lot of time convincing me otherwise...
     
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  10. Flaxney

    Flaxney Well-Known Member

    That they have extremely low standards.
     
  11. mentalhealthnurse

    mentalhealthnurse Well-Known Member

    When my husband tells me, I smile on the outside but feel like it's just pushing the knife in deeper on the inside. When my children tell me, I want to cherish that unconditional moment forever. But most of the time there is a feeling that I'm not with being loved and that sometimes love is just an empty word.
     
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  12. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    It won't last
     
  13. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    Maybe the better question should be about self love. I think all of those things you guys have mentioned too.
     
  14. Deety

    Deety Well-Known Member

    I know this is from about a month ago, but how did the family meetings go? Is there any progress with the situation between you and your wife?
     
  15. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    We have now had 2 meetings with a third arranged for the week after next. It is helping us to build a few bridges that we probably wouldn't have been able to do by ourselves at this point in time. So progress has been made, but she has still not been able to tell me she loves me, so in that regard, nothing has changed. But we will keep going and see where we end up.
     
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  16. Growgirl

    Growgirl Member

    I am not sure I can feel love. I cannot accept it. I think people are lying or mistaken when they say.

    I also think prove it....
     
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  17. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    With the word "love" thrown around so flippantly these days I think "prove it" is good to think. The ones who do, especially of their own accord, are worth keeping around.
     
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  18. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    depends on the person. on here I have a adopted "little sister" I tell her I love her as a big brother, and she says she loves me back as a little sister. I believe her.

    if it was someone in real life, i would probably not believe them and think they are just going to hurt me in some way. the only person that I believe tells me she loves me , is Madeline. My sweet, precious Madeline; what would I do without her?
     
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  19. Niantiel

    Niantiel Active Member

    There are many different types of Love.
    I dare say it's quite possibly the only force in existence and beyond that rivals Death blade-to-blade, inch-to-inch.
    Which is why there are so many forms of it.
    The only certainty I have with love anymore is my family...haha...perhaps it's for this reason why I keep them at an arm's distance from me.
    Love is a strange thing. You can neither live with it, nor without it.
    C'est la vie.
     
  20. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Honestly, until recently, I believed that when someone said "I love you" it meant "I like you right now". I met a friend online who would always end emails and texts with "love you'...we'd never even met. I was in a long distance relationship and after texting this man for a few days, he called me and said "I love you Frances"....I have to say that I was shocked and felt OBLIGED to say it back. But I never believed it and it turned out to be true, he really didn't love me, it was simple infatuation because I was a distraction while he tried to woo his wife back.

    Funny and maybe hypocritically enough, when I say "I love you" I mean it deeply and I think about it a lot before I say it. My bf and I didn't say it to each other at the same time, and it was months after we'd started dating and became exclusive. This was the only time I felt he meant it. But as you know @Brittless , there are times in my relationship of late, when the words "I love you" don't have much meaning anyway.