What do you want out of life?

[Lazarus102]

There's "living" but then there's being alive. I think many of us have only been alive and in a status of "zombieing" through the days like the walking dead we are numb to the world around us and each attempt to move past that is met with only boredom, frustration and ultimately depression. We all come to this site hoping to hear something that we haven't heard a thousand times before like "don't worry, things will get better!", Maybe in hopes of meeting someone that feels the same as us, someone that can help us to get through the day or even give us a reason to bother doing so..
Who knows, maybe I'm alone in feeling this way specifically, maybe the majority of people are content with just hearing the nice nice version of "get over it".

In truth I would not call myself suicidal because in order to be so then there would have to actually be a risk of me committing suicide. But I am definitely dealing with some major depression which puts me in the same boat as you lot; still alive and hating every minute of it.

Which brings me to the question in the thread title. What is it that you want out of life? What would make you happy or at least content. Don't be shy, I'd like to know

 

[total eclipse]

All i ever wanted out of life was for the ones i care for to have healing to have peace

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

For the things I've wanted all of my life to actually happen, and not for them to be unattainable, elusive, or illusory.

 

[Lazarus102]

All i ever wanted out of life was for the ones i care for to have healing to have peace

So it is your friends or family that has the issues more-so than yourself?

For the things I've wanted all of my life to actually happen, and not for them to be unattainable, elusive, or illusory.

Could you be more specific? What you said is a bit relative, for some people love can be considered as you described(elusive, or illusory) or perhaps you speak of "unattainable" things such as vast wealth, fame or a worry free financially secured lifestyle. But then you may also be talking about those things that are actually not available in this existence such as dragons, elves, magic .etc. Those last few things may seem a bit silly to some but there are some that find this life to be so redundantly boring that they would wish for such things to exist in order to spice it up a bit.


For the record the thing that I want more than anything out of life is a person(preferably female) that understands me the way that no one else can. Someone that will be there for me and that I can be there for. Someone that doesn't judge me no matter how fucked up I can be. Someone that would look at me often and smile, letting me know that everything is alright in the world. To be truly loved, that would be something else..

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

The things I want in life are never going to happen, not even the things that people usually have. I guess that's basically what I meant by that.

 

[Lazarus102]

The things I want in life are never going to happen, not even the things that people usually have. I guess that's basically what I meant by that.

Can you elaborate on that? Like what are your objectives and your obstacles? You can always send me a private message if you don't feel comfortable divulging such information on a public forum(if you want to that is). I find it's good to talk about such things, just to vent if nothing else.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Even for me just to find someone I can share my life with, to have a family, a successful career, to be happy, seems out of my reach. Every time I've reached for what I wanted before, I've always failed miserably. So I guess I have given up on trying further.

 

[Lazarus102]

Even for me just to find someone I can share my life with, to have a family, a successful career, to be happy, seems out of my reach. Every time I've reached for what I wanted before, I've always failed miserably. So I guess I have given up on trying further.

I know the feeling.. And I'm not just saying that. In truth I have a really hard time relating to most people. I'm often mad with the world because people that don't even know me reject me because of things that I have no control over. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not really an angry person and it's usually just general frustration as opposed to freaking out at people. What kinda career is it that interests you? What is it that stops you from succeeding in that? I hope I'm not asking too many questions. I'm kinda anti-social irl for the most part so these few internet conversations are all I really have to connect myself to the world.

 

[Mr.Smiles]

I definitely know that feeling!

As far as the topic at hand, I have always wanted a stable career, a house of my own, and a nice backyard. I've dreamed of making my own little sanctuary for some time now. A little greenhouse with a sand floor, hammock hanging, and a fountain on the corner. Oh yeah, and just like you said, someone that gets me. Preferably a female. It seems like every day people are just slipping away from my world.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I know the feeling.. And I'm not just saying that. In truth I have a really hard time relating to most people. I'm often mad with the world because people that don't even know me reject me because of things that I have no control over. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not really an angry person and it's usually just general frustration as opposed to freaking out at people. What kinda career is it that interests you? What is it that stops you from succeeding in that? I hope I'm not asking too many questions. I'm kinda anti-social irl for the most part so these few internet conversations are all I really have to connect myself to the world.

I often feel rejected and like no one understands me. I don't talk to anyone outside of the internet, really, so I know how that is. I don't mind if you ask questions. Usually no one is interested in getting to know me or anything I have to say. The main thing that stops me from succeeding at anything is myself. I am a failure, and people never fail to remind me of this. Sorry for taking up so much space on this post, I know you probably want opinions from other people.

 

[Growing Pains]

In Philosophy class, we discussed something to do with purpose... I don't remember the exact lecture, but the conclusion was simple. No matter what we desire out of life, it all boils down to wanting one thing: Happiness.

The simplicity in it seems so obvious. No matter what answer I give, it will relate to me achieving happiness. The only logical answer, then, seems to me to be... happiness.

 

[youRprecious!]

I suppose what I really, really want is for my truth to be accepted, rather than be told how things were from the perspective of "the group" who all had each other to support their wrong opinions...... I came across a poem a few years back that went something like:

They drew a circle that shut me out, a failed thing to trash and flout..... But You drew a circle that included me in - to a place of Love and forgave my sin......

Why do we let people's criticisms and gossip get us down so? My worth is not in other peoples' hands. I am not what I am imagining other's are saying about me (even if they are) - that is not who I am, it's who I'm thinking they think I am, and the two are not the same.

So I guess what I'm really saying is that in life and out of life, I want to grow a hide, lol!

 

[Hatshepsut]

I don't really want anything out of life anymore. To want such things means I would be assuming that life exists to service my needs and desires in the first place, which I doubt is true. There is little wrong with having career goals or seeking happiness or friends--other replies here mention them, alongside the thread starter. It's certainly not my place to condemn ambition. The problem for me is that I didn't show enough ambition when the windows of opportunity were open for me. In other words, a career or making a close friend are activities that require full-time work or full-time devotion to a friend's welfare.

Absent these personal sacrifices it just doesn't happen. English-speaking media tend to show life's wonders gushing forth from a Horn of Plenty without any effort, as if the gods smile at you while they shower blessings: "You can have whatever color you like, and it's on sale in some market or other, for money or for love." Key here is having earned money or love to meet the purchase prices. Since I didn't produce this effort, I won't have "even the things that people usually have," as one of the replies above puts it. The balance of my life will be spent coming to grips with this fact and taking ownership for the position I have reached.

I will almost certainly die in poverty, mostly though perhaps not quite alone. Although this is my fault, the laws of social achievement resemble laws of physics--they don't care who's to blame, they simply operate without thought. So, the world is as it is, not as anyone wishes it were. I do wish this message were better communicated to young people instead of the mindless ads and entertainments telling them about all the things they can get.

Realism says I need to learn to be satisfied with what I have now. I still have some good things and some blessings. I will not always have them because I am mortal and none of my life stuff will follow me into the void when I go, naked like on the day when I was born...,

best wishes to all.., :hugpounce:

 

[SillyOldBear]

Wonderfully expressed, Hat. I too, have made my own bed. Through my own lack of effort I no good friends, little money, few resources, no skills. I also expect to die alone, and in poverty. I expect death will come as a relief. I just hope it does not come with a lot of pain. Meanwhile I work to truly except the fact that I have earned the life I now possess.

 

[Daphna]

What do I want out of life? To fill the roles that have been placed upon me as I should. That's the biggest thing. The one fear I have is failing at these awesome responsibilities. But I know as long as I don't give up all should be well. It's a process. Great post!

 

[Lazarus102]

I am seeing a lot of commonality in these posts. Most people see their goals as unattainable or unworthy of even mentioning. I must say that the reason I am still alive so far is because I take hope in moderation. I don't expect to achieve the things that I want right now or even within a few years from now and I am prepared to accept that. But in order to make life worth living at all we must put a name to our destination and start the wheels rolling. The average human lifespan these days is what? 80-100? I think that most of us can safely say that we're a good several decades off from a natural death and that is a long time to accomplish anything. The first step is in acknowledging that we want to be happy and then what it is that would make us happy. For those of us with financial goals this would obviously be a much easier task because those are not hindered as much by what other people want. Love is a whole different animal and I am still on the path to discovering it myself. Love is hindered by what other people want and in the worst way for those of us that weren't born beautiful or with charisma and friends and awesome social skills or even just a family that gives a shit about them. I have no doubt that I will accomplish my financial goals over time but I'm actually in the same boat as you all when it comes to love, like, I'll believe it when I see it.

 

[normaljoe]

I would like to be able to be around my family and not have this tremendous resentment for them.
professionally: I would like to be a corporate lawyer. (about to finish my bachelors, post 911 GI bill will take care of the rest, I just have to graduate :/ )
I would like a family so I know I am not like my father, that I am a better person. A person capable of love.

my goals are more than reasonable its just for me while I can attain my goals they do not mean anything to me. I do not get enjoyment from them. I some how always feel empty.
I am also on Zoloft which has helped alot. (not to endorse any medicine)

 

[Forget2Trust]

I know the feeling.. And I'm not just saying that. In truth I have a really hard time relating to most people. I'm often mad with the world because people that don't even know me reject me because of things that I have no control over. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not really an angry person and it's usually just general frustration as opposed to freaking out at people. What kinda career is it that interests you? What is it that stops you from succeeding in that? I hope I'm not asking too many questions. I'm kinda anti-social irl for the most part so these few internet conversations are all I really have to connect myself to the world.

"I'm kinda antisocial"- antisocial as in Antisocial Personality Disorder or Avoidant PD? Just curious. And if you don't mind me asking, are you a male or a female?

 

[Forget2Trust]

I know the feeling.. And I'm not just saying that. In truth I have a really hard time relating to most people. I'm often mad with the world because people that don't even know me reject me because of things that I have no control over. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not really an angry person and it's usually just general frustration as opposed to freaking out at people. What kinda career is it that interests you? What is it that stops you from succeeding in that? I hope I'm not asking too many questions. I'm kinda anti-social irl for the most part so these few internet conversations are all I really have to connect myself to the world.

There's "living" but then there's being alive. I think many of us have only been alive and in a status of "zombieing" through the days like the walking dead we are numb to the world around us and each attempt to move past that is met with only boredom, frustration and ultimately depression. We all come to this site hoping to hear something that we haven't heard a thousand times before like "don't worry, things will get better!", Maybe in hopes of meeting someone that feels the same as us, someone that can help us to get through the day or even give us a reason to bother doing so..
Who knows, maybe I'm alone in feeling this way specifically, maybe the majority of people are content with just hearing the nice nice version of "get over it".

In truth I would not call myself suicidal because in order to be so then there would have to actually be a risk of me committing suicide. But I am definitely dealing with some major depression which puts me in the same boat as you lot; still alive and hating every minute of it.

Which brings me to the question in the thread title. What is it that you want out of life? What would make you happy or at least content. Don't be shy, I'd like to know

I understand your suicidal comnent. I've never considered myself suicidal until I forget to take my depression meds and drink too much alcohol. That's happened lately. I've actually mapped out places where I could do something about it without a weapon. That is why I am a new member. I know it was due to the lack of depression meds. If I miss one day and then drink, it's unreal- the depression. Plus, I'm a member, because I wanted to hear about other topics like the mental disorders. It's VERY rare if I ever feel like jumping off a bridge.

Anyway, I want to find purpose. I want to choose a major and finish school. I want to choose the RIGHT major and not waste time or money. I want to find work. I want to find the energy and motivation I used to have before I got off ADHD meds.
I want to learn as much as I can for as long as I live, but I truly feel like I need ADHD meds which I don't have. I forget things otherwise. I'm not near as intelligent without them. I'd like to find a man who won't judge me, and someone that I'm attracted to and loves me. I want to be able to be close to a man without ruining everything or choosing the worst peoplein the freaking world. I want security. I want iindependence. I want a good career, and I want to be sucessful. I want to be able to help others in my family like they've helped me.

In the end, I want to fulfill my potential, because that -fulfilling one's true potential- is the definition of true happiness.

 

[Veryunfairlysuicidal]

I want so much out of life. I've always gotten kind of the things I wanted til something happened me 4 months ago. I turned suicidal and I want absolutely nothing out of life anymore. I lost something that matters so much more than anything else, beyond words or situations you can even try to understand. Now everything else is totally meaningless and I for the first time met real boredom. But to be more precise, suicidal depression.