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What does and doesn't define you


1 Peter 5:7
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SF Supporter
I thought about how our intrusive thoughts do not define who we are. Then I read this article.


It lists 15 things that do not define who we are. I definitely recommend reading it. It's not too long. But the list goes like this:

1. your past
2. your mistakes
3. your tendencies
4. your name
5. your occupation
6. what you own
7. how much money you have
8. your accomplishments
9. where you live
10. your belief system
11. your age
12. your gender
13. your role in a group
14. how you look
15. by society and by what other people think of you

I'm curious what you think of the article if you read it. If these things do not define us, what does define us?


Well-Known Member
This was a sad read if true. There are some points mentioned in the list that I am very proud of..... Let's say my name. I played zero role in the name my parents chose me but I was happy if it defined me because well, it's considered classic and timeless. Or me being in my early 20s is an advantage when it comes to many things. (Though aging could be an advantage in other things ig)

Now forgetting about myself

I'm being shameless to admit ig, but I unconsciously mostly define people based on their occupation and how much they have achieved through life. I think a lot of people are same as me. So maybe the correct way to do it is to just consider a person's thoughts and personality, but there is a long way to go till our society gets there, and maybe we never will.


SF Supporter
I would add to the list that our feelings do not define us. They come and they go but they are not who we are. We are ever changing, beautiful creatures full of intelligence, complexity, and love. Thanks for sharing this {{hugs}}


☆☆Admin-tastic ☆☆
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I think who we are is a lot deeper than anything you can see on the surface. I'm not sure I can define it, but it's a collection of character and beliefs.

We also aren't our diagnosis. I know for people here especially, that can be a tough one. You find yourself defined by the label put on, but that isn't who you are. The diagnosis is what you have. You are so much more than. I had a therapist tell me once, "you are more than the sum of your past mistakes". It stuck with me.


SF Supporter
The part about what you own not defining me is helpful right now because I am most likely reducing my belongings to what I can take with me on an airplane in a couple months. And depending on how things work out, I might not be making much purchases for months. Even though I don't own much, I have been feeling some concern about that severe of a reduction. The biggest reduction I have done in the past is limiting myself to just what would fit into my car - which is actually a lot even for a small car. Anytime that concern comes up, I will try to think of this article and how it doesn't change who I am if I lose 99% of my belongings.

The section about not being who you are expected to be based on your appearance reminded me of a very muscular strong person who worked in IT. Just going off appearances, if you were guessing the job of a big strong guy, you probably wouldn't put IT in the top 10 guesses. I'm not sure whether he had the muscles or the IT career first, but either way I think it's great that he was able to do what he wanted without worrying about what anybody else thought.

I laughed when reading about "you don't look like a Barbara" because those statements never made any sense to me, but I hear them all the time. It's like they have a painting on their wall of someone in every name, and everyone must look like their matching painting or be told they are "doing it wrong".

quoting the article: "what people see in you, is just a reflection of their current emotional state, life experience, and level of consciousness. It is only half accurate, because it is based on their perception of you, so you can’t take it so seriously that you start to redefine who you think you are based on their opinions. " I am usually good at remembering this, but it's good to see it in writing once in a while.

quoting again:
" This way, if anyone has a comment to make about you, you take it a lot less personally, and are able to process it and let it go a lot quicker, because ultimately, you know that this is not who you are. This also makes it easier to not judge other people, as you understand that this isn't who they are either. "
Hmm, gonna hafta work on that one. Posted a rant about jerks less than an hour ago. *hiding

Thanks for posting this article.

Legate Lanius

Well-Known Member
Between shit and piss we are born, literally. Biological machines that constantly want to push others down or rise up above them to steal the sunlight. DNA is garbage.

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