What does it take for you to fall for someone?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Avarice, May 24, 2011.

  1. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Thread title says it all. I want to know what kind of person you usually go for, if there are any neccesary traits you like them to have. Do they have to be confident, outgoing, shy, pretty, happy, sad? What does it take for a girl or guy to grab your attention and get you to like them? If somebody liked you, how would you want them to tell you? Would you even want them to tell you?

    More importantly, I want to know what guys look for in a girl. I know everyone is different and has different preferences, but what works for you? Is there anything in particular that would make you sit up and notice a girl and if so what would that be?
  2. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    wow thats a hard question ! im a girl so i cant answer the second question and im married so its that long ago since i "dated" ect that its a bit foggy. I can tell you what attracted me to my hubby to so thats prob my "type"
    looks are def unimportant it is 100 percent the inside for me i think loyalty understanding and non judgemental is a huge priority and a sense of humor patience kindness thoughtfulness and someone who doesnt make u wanna scream LOL
  3. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    I'm also a girl and cant really answer your second question, but ill have a go at the first.

    for me its all about personality, and the way i feel when im around the person. one of my weird test things is when a guy holds me if i feel safe...kinda lame i know but if i feel safe in their arms thats a big plus. i like someone i can be myself around (duh) and be comfortable with. someone being funny is a plus, and it has to be someone who isnt afraid to go outside and get dirty (like hiking, sports that kind of dirty not like you know ;) dirty)

    i will admit i look at guys, hell im sure every girl does, but the looks they have dont play a role in who i date, i can appreciate an attractive guy, but looks will never buy someone the boyfriend/fiance/husband title.
  4. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    I only have one experience to draw from, but I was instantly attracted to and fell for my boyfriend because he's a bit of a rebel. Not in the metal/guitar/drugs way like my exes. Just that there are so many things he wants to do with his life and he won't just sit there and take crap or let bad things happen when he disagrees with them. He's intelligent and funny and wants to make a difference.
    Funnily enough, though, if there's nothing going on he's really shy.

    I always prefer guys to tell me. My current boyfriend was so casual about it. Sent me a text saying he had a bit of a thing for me and asking if I wanted to go out sometime :tongue: I like it that way.

    Nobody has ever really caught my attention in the same way and I've never felt like this about anyone, so sorry to ranton about my relationship, just seems to be the only thing relevant!
  5. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    The kind of girls that I like would be a little bit shy, creative, fun, and a little geeky like me. I don't have any real preferences on outward appearance, but it is nice if she's shorter than me, maybe longish hair. Character traits like loyalty and honesty are a must, and she must be as much of a romantic as I am.

    I don't think it would matter too much if I told them or if they told me.

    The thing that would make me sit up and notice a girl? A mysterious girl. Somebody who stands out from a crowd, someone that stirs my curiosity. I can fall easy for someone who keeps me interested.
  6. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    I need to start one to find out what woman fall for(like it'd help).
    Hmmm, for myself as far as looks go prefer cutish, shy, thinnish and plainish females, someone who over does it dressing up and with makeup and fairly revealing clothes etc. don't appeal that much to me, sort of the conservative type. As far as other traits go think I'm different than most males, really not into trendy, mainstream things so someone like that would get me to notice her. Then again it's probably too hard to really know unless you meet that person, if I were you don't go trying too hard, don't know you but don't think it's worth it to make a lot of changes if you like the way you are, think it's worse making big changes for someone,:sad: if some guy doesn't like you for the way you are perhaps he's the one who'd be losing out.:hugtackles:
  7. AlexElm

    AlexElm Well-Known Member

    Haha, I considered not answering but what the heck? The necessary traits I would like to them have would be a combination of shy, outoing, happy and the occasional sad phase. Humans are very rarely just one trait you know!

    If someone liked me, I would like them to tell me, although a straight forward "I love you" will make me less sure. I would like them to give me subtle hints. Keep me guessing. If someone were to tell me that they like me, I would hope they do it in a "creative" way. Don't know if that makes sense lol

    I would definitely look the other way if a girl was wearing too much make-up and she looked like she was trying to be hot/beautiful. What would really make me sit up and notice a girl? To be absolutely honest, it just really, really depends on how she behaves and how she looks.

    As a side note, I would like to mention that long hair- not short is good. Just saying.

    And there's my extensive take on girls. Obviously, I had to edit some parts out because it would take too long for me to describe a perfect girl, but those are the basics I look for.
  8. MLKane

    MLKane Well-Known Member

    For me, well it's not a popular thing to say but a good looking girl is the first thing that catches my eye. but then most girls are good looking, they just don't see it in themselves. :/ I have a type, I think most people do, but it's not like I'm normal anyway lol so don't take this as like most men ;) I like a girl who is pleasing to my eye, which is most girls really lol, I prefer a girl shorter than me but I'm like 6'4'' so that's not hard either. Hair, anything from chin length downward, but it depends what suits a girl. If something is worn confidently then it's all fine with me, I'm not a clothes oriented guy lol. As you can see, physically I'm undemanding, the vast majority of girls fall into the "yes" catagory with their looks. It's personality where I get picky, having had bad shit in the past.

    Ideally, a girl makes you feel like the only guy in the world, but more commonly I look for someone with a sense of humour. Someone who can both make a rude joke and take one at their expense with a laugh and a smile, even if later they approach me and ask for me to not joke about said subject for X reason, it's how they handle being around me and my friends, we're a pretty caustic bunch and teash each other harmlessly but it seems harsh from outside. What really makes me sit up and notice a girl, like genuinely enjoy being around them and possibly want more even from early on in knowing them, is if they notice me. Not in the just say hi coz I'm a friend of a friend, or talk to me out of courtesy, but active seek out my company, actively try to talk to and and find out more about me. What interests me most in a girl, as a guy who's not exactly been lucky in love, is a girl who wants to be around me for who I am. Really, that's the most important part, just being interested. Because if someone is interested in me, I want to be interested in them too.

    Oh and if someone liked me, yeah I'd prefer they told me, because I am useless at social clues, but if they didn't feel confident enough to do so then just letting me know indirectly, as in just actively showing an interest in spending time with me. Also general hints like "oh are you interested in someone at the moment?" (btw, standard answer is no, even if real answer is yes) or "so what do you like, think of me?" (in right context, so like said in such a way that you're trying to hint with body language the answer you're after.)

    of course, I don't attract girls like the afformentioned. As I've already said, physically I'm undemanding, and my one and only gf was pretty bang-tidy if I can compliment her at all, but I attract people with poisonous personalities. People must look at me and see "victim" scrawled across my forehead, because it's the people who like to use and abuse who seem attracted to me, which is why I've pretty much shut down my feelings for anyone beyond friendship, because I just don't know who wants me and who wants another tool to use.
  9. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I keep trying to tell myself this, but I've been having a lot of identity issues lately which are making it really difficult for me to even figure out who I am. It doesn't help that so many people my age base their judgements on looks alone, so personality doesn't even get a look in!

    It is a very unpopular view, but I can agree here. It takes someone you find pleasing on the eye to spark curiosity and interest in them for you to want to find out more about them. Having said that though, I first met my ex-boyfriend online and it was a good few months into our relationship (and subsequently after I'd fallen for him) before I saw a picture of him, so I suppose the rules can be somewhat different when it comes to online dating.
  10. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    A mature outlook, a decent all round personality and pretty feet! :)
  11. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I can't answer the second part obviously. But I'll try with the first.

    For me, it's about personality. I like knowing what a person looks like just out of curiosity, but looks don't mean much to me (although I do tend to have a thing for guys taller than me, but that's usually easy because I'm only 5'5). I can't see well enough to see what a person looks like anyway, so I base everything on who they are inside and how they treat people. I like having fun and making people laugh, and so I guess a sense of humor is important to me too.
  13. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Just a special 'vibe' from them... I like someone who's considerate, has had problems with depression themselves and can make me laugh... who values honesty, that's a must... who wants the same things from life as me.. sometimes you end up falling for someone the opposite of your 'ideal' though.. the heart chooses who it chooses when it sees something special.. :)
  14. lord.nigel

    lord.nigel Well-Known Member

    i like the posts above :) remedy, i especially like your bit about honesty.

    must admit though, its definitely a mix of looks and personality that does it for me. looks wise, manliness is always a plus :) in terms of personality i cant help but like people who are passionate about something (and dont just stray in the wind) and who treat the people around them with kindness.