What does the future hold?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by The_8th_Wonder, Aug 8, 2008.

  1. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    I am here alive for one reason and that is my family. My siblings and parents are responsible for myself not committing suicide. Nobody in my life even knows what I'm feeling I have no therapist, no doctors, and no councilors. My parents are worried more about underage drinking with me than a possible suicide. I am current going into my sophomore year in highschool but what happens when I get out of highschool? What happens when I'm on my own in college with nobody to fucking turn to and nobody that gives a shit? All these assholes laugh at my pain at my school. I can't even focus on doing a fucking homework assignment with getting distracted and wasting 5 hours jerking around doing fucking nothing that's going to not fuck over my entire life. My parents have to sit next to me to get me to focus yet they say I don't have ADD. I can't believe I actually made it 15 years with nobody in my life to talk to and why nobody is fucking smart enough to figure out that I have anger issues and need help. I can't hide things that well and I'm sure as hell not going to tell anybody about it.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Well you have plenty of wonderful people here that really understand your issues and definitely give a shit hun. Keep posting please.
  3. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Im sure your parents know something is up, most of the time they just dont want to know it, they only want the best for you. I just suggest you should go look for help now, because the older you get the harder it gets. I know its damn fucking hard, but believe one day you will do something stupid and everyone knows about it, at least thats what ive heard from lots of people who had the similar and it happened to me. If youre here alive for that only reason its worth taking a risk to look for help. I just hope you realise it soon, its hard to do it all on your own. Good luck and take care and we from sf are always here for you :smile:
  4. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    What do you mean by can't focus? Are you thinking about other things? Do you get anxious? What happens to you when you try to do homework alone?
  5. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    Doubt it. The hardly ever see me. I stay up until right before they wake up and then I wake up at 5pm. I only see them for dinner and no I'm not depressed because I realize there are some people that don't have what I have. During the school year I come home and hide on the computer telling them I'm doing my homework. I try to think of how lucky I am to have a home, and a loving family but I can't help to think of the people around my school and I envy them. Always so happy laughing with their friends, kissing their boy/girl friends, having the ability to sit down, focus and do their work.
  6. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    I get distracted by anything that is possible to get distracted by. In a quiet room where I am by myself I can stay at a white wall for hours upon hours. I don't have motivation to do my work so anything that can distract me, will.
  7. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    I barely saw my parents too, I was avoiding them, that made them even think more there was something up. And I know its really hard, but dont give up hoping. And still i think you should see a therapist or something like that. It helped me a lot and I know it helped others a lot. It wont go easy, you have to work for it. You can always pm me
  8. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Do you feel hypnotized when you're around the white walls?

    Do you find the homework boring?

    What things are you doing to exercise concentration?

    I myself started using a CD that has rhythmic patterns to develop focus and concentration. It's called the Art of Concentration.

    what kinds of homework would be considered tolerable for you? i.e some people can concentrate better on fee write english assignments and others can do math for hours.
  9. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    I have been constantly distracted for many years; it's pretty much a perpetual state now. So I figure most people are too and this allows what some would consider odd behavior but if theres some $ could be termed eccentric. Tho it's certainly hard to always do, I've found it best not to project on assumed givens in the future. I felt very alone at your age and still do. But there were many years and times and people that filled that void in a huge worthwhile way. and it could happen again, I don't know or care cause I don't want to project. there's stuff about projecting positive things that has worked to a limited extent for me. I wasn't specific enough maybe?