What does this mean?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aphorism, Jun 11, 2011.

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  1. Aphorism

    Aphorism Well-Known Member

    It's not really a suicide attempt i dont think??

    Yesterday I put myself in a dangerous situation by walking at night, alone, on the side of the road where there were no sidewalks. I had a phone and I hadn't told anyone where i was going.

    I didn't intend to try and jump in front of a car. This area i live in is fairly safe (fairly posh for the most part). And I walked close to the side of the road.

    at some point i kept walking and i knew exactly where i was going. (again i was using my phone to track it.) except i had no real set destination. eventually i decided i would try to make it to my friend's house, but i ended up at some college, so then i called her and she picked me up.

    i was kind of freaked out by then but i didnt panic or anything. i actually felt so calm and exhilarated and it was dangerous but i almost felt like it doesnt matter if i live or die. at the same time i was being as safe as you could be in that situation--and ended up calling someone.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It sounds like you were testing the boundaries which can be very dangerous..there are behaviors which are called 'para-suicidal' which are not actual attempts, but do place us in great risk...please be more watchful as you are very valuable...J
     
  3. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Yes, it does sound as if you were more testing your limits and boundaries in order to find out what you could get away with. Sometimes it can be very therapeutic to simply open the front door and walk out, day or night, without telling anyone where you are going or by what route you are going to take, but always remember that no matter how safe an area you walk through, does not necessarily mean that you are immune to danger.
     
  4. Caster

    Caster Well-Known Member

    I agree with Sadeyes and Leif. I used to never wear a seatbelt on the highway because part of me just didn't care. I had a lot of wreckless behaviors.

    I'm glad you're ok though. Is there anything that triggered this walk alone at night?
     
  5. Aphorism

    Aphorism Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for your responses. I am glad to better understand what was going on, and parasuicide is definitely the right term for what happened.
     
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