Today was so humiliating. It had'nt happened in such a long time but it had to happen. My anxiety causes the irritable bowel syndrome. Which means that when I have to go, it hurts physically until I go to the bathroom. Often I can't hold it in, thus today it came out before I made it to the bathroom. It's so humiliating and I had to call a cab to take me home because the pants I was wearing were grey and it was visible in my derriere that something wet had happened. I swear on days like today I wish I was dead. It's so embarrassing and humiliating to even admit this. I know how people are, they would make fun of me and stuff. I got no one to talk to. If only it was just that, but it isnt. I got no life, no friends, no lover...what else am I living for?