what else can i do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by swillotter, Nov 27, 2007.

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  1. swillotter

    swillotter New Member

    I am 40 years old and have been married for 15 years. recently i have been having an affair with a woman who is 22 years old. I cannot stand my wife or her stepkids anymore. all we do is fight. she keeps my life under constant supervision. my kids snitch on me whenever i do drugs, unfortunately i am addicted to narcotic painkillers. my girlfriend wants me to run away with her but i feel that i cannot just leave my wife in this situation. i am worried that ii will never be able to have fun again for the rest of my life if i stay with my wife. i cannot smile or be happy around her. my girlfriend wants to have my baby and makes me completely happy and satisfied. my wife says she will kill my girlfriend and my dogs if i ever talk to her again. she is my best friend. it is not about the sex. i am miserable, my girlfriend is going to be moving away soon and wants me to go. i fear that if i don't i will have no choice but to end it all. any help greatly appreciated.
  2. urban_lily

    urban_lily Well-Known Member

    the descisions all have to be yours I'm afraid....maybe things will be better with your girlfriend, or maybe it's a case of the grass being greener...who knows (certainly not me!)....one thing is for sure, you are not happy in your current situation and, from the sounds of things, definetly not happy with your wife. Maybe you have some time away from it....trial seperation or whatever...I think the best step would be for you to get away from your wife for at least a while so you can better understand how you feel....maybe it would be best for you to not be with either your wife or your girlfriend right now, I dont know. I do think that you are being unfair to both of them at the moment, as well as yourself. It sounds like your girlfriend is trying to force you into making a choice....this isnt fair for her to do. If she truely loves you she will be there waiting for you whenever you decide the time is right. Also, does your wife know about your girlfriend? If so, this could be why she is being so hostile and trying to control you.

    Personally, I think you have already made up your mind what you'd like to do but kind of want some confirmation that it's the right way to go....I cant do that, but I'm happy to talk it out with you so that you can make the right choice for you....and dont forget that being on your own away from them both for a while is a valid choice!

    Ending it all is not the answer and I think you realise that....it is a bit of a pickle that you're in but it can be fixed and you're not alone in being in a situation like this I'm sure!

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