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What frightens me about comitting

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cybrsk8r, Feb 21, 2010.

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  1. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid that I'll end up in worse shape than I am now. Brain-damaged or some other such thing. I need to find a way out that's both gentle and fool-proof.
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    sorry man - not gonna help you out with that

    what's going on?
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    We can't help you with that, but we can listen and support you. What's wrong?
  4. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    I wasn't looking for advice on a method. I was simply wondering whether the fear of failure keeps some people from committing.
  5. neohume

    neohume Well-Known Member

    the thought of someone finding me has stopped me so far. and the thought of my funeral.
    i just want to dissapear.
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am scared of that same exact thing.
    I don't want to wind up with some irreversible damage or horrible disfigurement. But I'm also scared of the actual process of dying as well. As much as I want to be dead, all that fear holds me back.
  7. Kunera

    Kunera Well-Known Member

    Yeah, that's usually what keeps me from doing it, since I'm fairly sure there's no such thing as a fool-proof method. If I knew of one, I'd have done it by now.
  8. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I find it harder and harder to want to commit now, because I have a supportive gf, and I have my kids (when I am able to see them).
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Pull out a <Mod Edit, WildCherry: indirect methods> text book, read and understand it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2010
  10. ozbound

    ozbound Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Fear of failure is one thing that stops me at the mo the other is I don't want to do it close to anyone's birthday or holiday period as I don't want to lessen their enjoyment of that time. Fortunatley I don't have that many friends that I need to worry too much and have pleny of other times that I can do it.
  11. xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx

    xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx Well-Known Member

    i know how you feel hun, i am scared that my mom might find me, i just want to turn to dust and disapear. o dont want people to remeber me, i dont people to know that i exsitisted, i just want it to be like i never was even born
  12. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I don't want to fail doing it either.
  13. Darc

    Darc Well-Known Member

    Same here...
    I'm desperate enough not to care if a method is painful or not...but the thought of failing and ending up with my organs or brain damaged or quadriplegic or anything like that is horrible and the strongest reason why I haven't done it yet...

    I heard a fairy tale about a painter once. All the people he painted a portrait of died within 24 hours or so. If that was for real I'd know what to do for sure...
  14. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    yeh I'm scared of failure too....I'd hate to be alone and the method failed and the panic set in on what I might have damaged in the process...scary
  15. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Nope, I could easily die. Not hard to physically kill myself, but mentally I currently can't do it.
  16. MatrixOmega

    MatrixOmega New Member

    I can totally relate to that. The way forward I see is to look at the 2 conditions - "gentle" and "foolproof" - and decide to discard one.

    Obviously, "gentle", would be ideal, but generally that puts us in the realms of overdose etc, which is by no means foolproof.

    Personally, I choose to keep "foolproof", (for exactly the reason you state, which is fear of failure), and thus jettison "gentle".
    <Mod Edit,IrishDoll:Methods>

    Having said all that, cybrsk8r, I sincerely hope you can regain some enthusiasm for life and leave the suicide issue behind. If you are really settled on ending your life then I would definitely recommend as unemotional an approach as possible... having given this some consideration myself I believe a dispassionate approach to the ending of one's life is much more likely to be successful and devoid of unfortunate complications.

    A general point I'd like to make as well is that I really hate the expression, "committing suicide", because it suggests that you're committing a crime. Each of us is a sovereign individual with the full right - no matter what objections may be raised by others - to decide when that individual embodiment should end.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2010
  17. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    I have a certain instantaneous method and several other slower, fairly certain/nonviolent methods. I haven't acted on the first because of the horrible mental image it will leave on the people who love me and the others because of the same concern expressed about living on in a terribly disabled state, probably decades in a nursing home.

    I am in a horrible depression presently but even if I could have a medical doctor prescribe a peaceful but extremely "lethal cocktail" I would not commit at this time.
  18. Matrias

    Matrias Active Member

    couldnt have said it better myself.
  19. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    I'm more afraid of failure than dying. I've been checking out Mexican pharmacies, but I'm afraid they'll send me fakes that will only make me sick.
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