After 5 and a half years in college, I've finally failed out. I'm going to end up 18 credits shy of graduation. I just couldn't get it done. My parents will know for sure soon.
But I've always been raised that if I didn't get a bachelors degree, I was worthless. Thanks to a medical condition (hydrocephalus), I need to have health insurance for the rest of my life, and that requires a semi-decent job, something I don't know I can get with what I have.
So I don't see an end at the light of the tunnel right now. I don't know how I could face my parents again. Or my grandparents. Or my brother. They all just look at me and say 'we could do it, why can't you?' And a life of being seen as less worthy of anything is not a life I'm sure I want to go through with.
It wasn't until recently that I mentally sorted through and felt ok with ending this. But I've reached that point. Someone, please give me something to hang on to. For the past few months I've been hanging on my love of college football, but the season is soon to close. Sad, but that one thing I can converse with so many people about and hold my own. But that knowledge does me no good with out a bachelors degree.
I don't know how much longer this rope will hold.
But I've always been raised that if I didn't get a bachelors degree, I was worthless. Thanks to a medical condition (hydrocephalus), I need to have health insurance for the rest of my life, and that requires a semi-decent job, something I don't know I can get with what I have.
So I don't see an end at the light of the tunnel right now. I don't know how I could face my parents again. Or my grandparents. Or my brother. They all just look at me and say 'we could do it, why can't you?' And a life of being seen as less worthy of anything is not a life I'm sure I want to go through with.
It wasn't until recently that I mentally sorted through and felt ok with ending this. But I've reached that point. Someone, please give me something to hang on to. For the past few months I've been hanging on my love of college football, but the season is soon to close. Sad, but that one thing I can converse with so many people about and hold my own. But that knowledge does me no good with out a bachelors degree.
I don't know how much longer this rope will hold.