What makes you all go on? I’ve been on meds for a while now, and they are working. In fact this is the first time I’ve logged on to SF in 3 years. I can actually say that I am in a good mood most of the time and have been for a while. Despite this, not a day goes by that I don’t think about killing myself. My mood seems to have very little to do with thoughts of suicide. I don’t think there is any significance to our existence. While I enjoy things in life, hobbies, people etc., ultimately I am unsatisfied. I’ve found that you can be happy, but still very unsatisfied since nothing I do, or any one does, really matters. The thing that has always kept me from actually killing myself if concern for my family. I don’t want to do that to them, but I am getting to the point where I don’t know how much longer I can go on. Even though I’m in a good mood most of the time, I am still apathetic. I don’t want to deal with my obligations or responsibilities any longer, because there is no point to putting up with the stress of such meaningless activities. How do some of you motivate yourselves? What gives your life meaning? No religious answers please. I've been down that road, it doesn't work for me. If you give one you're pretty much asking for a debate on why religion is bunk, so be forewarned.