I don't get it. I don't get mood swings. I don't get depression. I don't get life...I don't get anything. I feel so shit it's untrue, I want to talk to talk to somebody close to me but there is noone, they just say " you'll be ok, tomorrow will be a better day" thats a load of bull! Tomorrow won't be a better day. At all. It will be a worse one I know it, I don't want to feel shit, I wan't to feel happy for once. I look at people around me and they seem so happy. I wish I could be happy longer than 1 hour. I don't want to end up back in hospotal! I won't! god I failed! WHY?! WHY DID I HAVE TO WAKE UP?! I can't take it, I can't put on a fake smile anymore. As well as my sister being suicidal, now my friend is too. People around me are droping like flys! my 'mom' is also suicidal, she is in a mental institute! I just wan't to know that...I don't know that I won't end up like her. This will sound crazy but I don't know alot about her other than the bad stuff, I don't know what her interests are, her favourite band or colour, little things that I don't know about my own mom! I want to feel normal. I want to feel loved. Or i'll just expload! I know I ramble alot on here but its the only place I have. I'm a burden everywhere.