what happened to being that happy little 6 year old?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by point-less, Oct 6, 2010.

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  1. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    I don't get it. I don't get mood swings. I don't get depression. I don't get life...I don't get anything.

    I feel so shit it's untrue, I want to talk to talk to somebody close to me but there is noone, they just say " you'll be ok, tomorrow will be a better day"
    thats a load of bull! Tomorrow won't be a better day. At all. It will be a worse one I know it, I don't want to feel shit, I wan't to feel happy for once.
    I look at people around me and they seem so happy. I wish I could be happy longer than 1 hour.
    I don't want to end up back in hospotal! I won't!
    god I failed! WHY?! WHY DID I HAVE TO WAKE UP?!
    I can't take it, I can't put on a fake smile anymore.
    As well as my sister being suicidal, now my friend is too.
    People around me are droping like flys!
    my 'mom' is also suicidal, she is in a mental institute!
    I just wan't to know that...I don't know that I won't end up like her.
    This will sound crazy but I don't know alot about her other than the bad stuff, I don't know what her interests are, her favourite band or colour, little things that I don't know about my own mom! I want to feel normal.
    I want to feel loved.
    Or i'll just expload!
    I know I ramble alot on here but its the only place I have. I'm a burden everywhere.
     
  2. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    pointless your not a burden, your just going through alot of stress. Come on here to rant, we all do.

    Im sorry your feeling this way, sounds alot like me. Question-have you ever thought of moving away from your family? Have you ever made a list of whats good in your life and whats bad then try and decipher what can be changed?
     
  3. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    Yes, I really want to move out but I can't as i'm only 14 :( but I just need to get away from here, i'm still suicidal, I cry everyday it isn't good not for a girl my age or any age in fact.
    The only good things in my life are my friends and this boy who has being there for me always ever since my ex girlfriend killed herself but everything els is bad, i'm a pointless freak who is worth nothing. Whats the point in having one of those in the world? I may as well just try to kill myself again right now I know.
     
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Why do you think you are depressed hun? You say you want to feel normal.... what do you define as normal?

    I wish I could say more... but I am walking the line of hypocrisy right now. If it makes you feel any better I do not know anything about my parents either.
     
  5. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    I suffer from bipoler or manic depression or whatever but i'm constantly depressed.
    and i'm sorry you don't know anything about your parents, I wish you did x
     
  6. down-and-maybeout

    down-and-maybeout Well-Known Member

    hi point-less i'm sorry you feel like this... i have failed in life too, i really wish i could turn back the clock and go back to primary school knowing what i know now and do the whole thing again

    i'm with ya
     
  7. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    Thats exactly what I wish could happen. :(
     
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