What Happened to me?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kiba, Jan 18, 2011.

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  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    So a few Hours ago I came back from the ER. I had went to the Urgent Care first because I have been dealing with feeling this sickness past 3 days. Including Memory issues, Balance problems, A headache, Dizziness, Nauseousness, Left side numbness, Left eye twitch, And feeling like my left side is heavy and Ill fall on it.

    So I went to Urgent Care and they couldn't help me so then sent me to the ER. I had some tests done.. And I came to find out I tested positive for amphetamines! I was in shock! I don't use any street drugs.. So now I think someone Poisoned me! :cry:

    And considering that I have received threats living here I'm guessing somehow someone laced something I ate or something. But I don't know what it is that could be laced! :blub:

    I don't feel safe living here.. I was paranoid about the threat before, but now I'm more freaked out! I have to move.. but how? :cry: I don't have the money to and I'm under Leese!

    I feel suicidal.. I think they are trying to kill me without it looking like they did anything. :cry: I don't know what is going to happen. I feel so alone and I'm not sure what the hell is going on!
  2. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    Ok just double checking were you on any medications?

    What are these threats about?
    Do you live alone?
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I'm not on any Medication.. I live alone. And these people threatened me a little while back. I live in a somewhat ghetto type area.. Considering Ive seen a shooting and 3 suicides since september.. I'm guessing they want to kill me without it looking like homicide and I used to be friends with them and one time they did mention some guy that had died they felt "sorry about."

    I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow.. Hoping she will know what to do. The hospital didn't believe me about not using any amphetamines but I think I almost had at least a few seizures. I think maybe because the drugs made my short term memory bad. And, because I think the levels were pretty high. I also had low potassium level and that can be caused by amphetamines. :(

    I'm not sure what was laced.. And I'm paranoid if I should drink anything or eat anything.. :cry: I need to move out of here. I felt I did before that I needed to and now I feel its not just a "I feel I need to move." But I feel I am in serious danger living here!
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you can talk to your doctor soon. I think too if you can move do that as you do not feel safe there and you should not have to live in fear. I would start looking for a better place for you okay :hugtackles::hugtackles:
  5. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Thanks.. :cry: I'm glad I have sf.. I don't know what I'd do living here all alone. I feel at least some comfort knowing I can talk to people here.. Feel like someone there.. maybe slightly..

    And Ive been in fear since when they threatened me and not been leaving my place hardly.. now I can tell my therapist this problem that happened.. Hopefully they can help me at least find a hotel.. for now. I don't know. Also going to see about going to police about it..

    Its been hours and I'm still in shock though.. I cant sleep and I feel so sick. Im sorry I feel like I'm just repeatedly complaining. I feel terrible..
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Of course you feel terrible no need to apologise I think it is a good move to talk to someone in authority about what happened. Can you go to a relatives a friend for a couple of days so you can rest and not feel so afraid even if you go on a little trip somewhere just to get away for awhile I hope your therapist can help you and the police too hugs.
  7. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    no.. My parents are out.. they would make it worse.. my PTSD around them is crap.. And I have no friends.. I'm going to see if maybe a hotel.. I don't know. Just temp until I can move if that's possible.
  8. Tim.

    Tim. SF Emoti-King

    That sounds terrible. I can understand you would feel scared and a little lost with that.

    I don't know if there's a great solution, but a few things crossed my mind:

    -You could file a report with the police. Even if they aren't going to investigate it might be useful to have something on file. If there are enough incidents, maybe at some point they will take it more seriously?

    -You could talk to your landlord about the lease. He or she may be willing to let you out of your lease if they understand your situation. There is a bit of self-interest at work there, as what landlord would want to risk people breaking into one of their units and causing serious damage to the place? The landlord may also own multiple properties, and could have several units that are open. Maybe it would be possible to move to one of his or her open apartments somewhere else at the same price?

    -Are there any city/county/state social worker type people that you could talk to? They might have some practical solutions.

    I don't really know if either of these would work or help or if there are possible negative consequences. I just thought I'd throw them out there because they popped into my head.

    Mostly I'm just sorry you have to go through this and hope it works out okay for you.
  9. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I cant sleep!! :cry: I cant sleep at all!! I lay down and my head starts screaming inside.. my heart is racing!! I cant calm down! Ive been panicking all night!! I just want to die! :blub:
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I know how you feel.. I went to a keg party and only had two beers.. Someone laced it with acid..Myself and this other guy left and went to a club..When I was in there the acid started takeing affect.. I couldn'tdrink the beer I had.. So I wnt and climbed in my car..I slept there until the police woke me up.. I told them I was to drunk to drive so I was sleeping it off..Luckally they beleived me and didn't bother me any more..That was the worst feeling I have ever had..I quit going to clubs after that..
  11. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    That sounds really scary. :hug: Hope you can get out of there.
  12. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    So I saw my therapist.. I'm still paranoid, but I call her tomorrow.

    She is going to talk to someone she knows, who deals with people who use amphetamines, to try to figure out maybe what amphetamine it might be that could have caused my symptoms.

    Hopefully that will give us a clue as to what to look for that might be laced or if it could be in the air. I don't know.. I also made a time line as best I could to see were things went wrong.

    I'm starting to feel a sense of "normalcy" somewhat now. I hope I can improve some and feel a bit better. Whatever it was caused a lot of pain and confusion.

    Thanks for being here for me SF.
  13. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    ok on a practical level re the amphet thing/lacing food
    can you eat out? i.e. in a cafe or sore bought frozen meals to be prepared at home?
    have you contact security?
  14. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Well, Ive not been eating a lot because I feel somewhat paranoid :S but I'm eating things I have to cook like meats and I'm not drinking anything I had in my fridge.. And I just got some juice and bananas today. Somehow I had $15 on my food stamp? The bananas will help with potassium. Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better then last night. Was in complete panic all night. :(

    Thanks for the support. I'm hopeful things will be figured out.
  15. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    glad youre feeling a bit better. hope it continues
  16. swift, eat something nice ok..? Try to relax and take care.. come to chat room if you don't feel good.. :mortd:
  17. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    hugs to you i hope you contacted authorities I like the idea of buying frozen food and eating out too take care of you:hugtackles:
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