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What happened?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by fallenaldur, Oct 11, 2010.

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  1. fallenaldur

    fallenaldur Member

    I don't really know much about anything anymore. It all seemed like life was going well. Boyfriend, university, job and friends. It certainly sounds superfluous I grant you.

    But then it all went to hell. Suddenly I'm single, then I'm suspended in work pending an investigation because I may be stealing from work which isn't true. They showed me cctv of me buying cigarettes and because they couldn't see my wallet over the till drawer from the camera, I'm suspended.

    Uni isn't going well as I failed to qualify for all three of my placements that I wanted and they aren't sure what to do with me. I'm single too. And I got really drunk one night, so drunk I don't remember much and apparently said something that lost me my best friend.

    I know I'm new. I know this all sounds stupid and not serious, but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of being a failure, just when I finally got it all back together...I lost it all again. I don't know what else I can do. I'm tired of being kicked into the dirt to lose it all again, over and over and over.

    Eh, it's my first post. Sorry if I seem dramatic or whiny, just never posted anything like this before. But it's really like I'm at the bottom, and most of me just wants to sink into oblivion. I don't want to, but it just seems like the best idea.
  2. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    Hi love,

    You don't sound dramatic or whiny, you just sound overwhelmed. I know how you feel. You need a support system (if you don't have one, seek one out), you also need to focus on small goals, and activities that fulfill you. I always hate when I write these replies, they sound so inane..but I don't want you to slip away..I don't want us to slip away into oblivion, because there's so much there for you. You can always start over...I know life doesn't lead us where we want to go most of the time, I know that our mistakes and our regrets can tear us apart, but we can't let them, we just have to move forward <3
  3. fallenaldur

    fallenaldur Member

    I've tried. I did the whole self harm thing, I did the whole suicide attempt thing in the past, I really did try to move forward, but this is the reward? I mean, what was the point? Broken heart, broken career, broken wallet. I've basically got nothing left now.
  4. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    So you start anew. Life isn't reward and punishment. Yes it is suffering, but there's joy here too, and it's worth living for.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You did it once you can do it again. You will find another friend get help with your drinking get statement from the teller that took your money for cigarettes so they know your not lying try again for placement when you can everything is fixable it will just take time You have that time okay use it to make things better again
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