what have i become

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Anonymous Dude, Apr 15, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Anonymous Dude

    Anonymous Dude Well-Known Member

    I don't like saying my feelings alot, I don't cut or do drugs so I have little release. I see my therapist once a week for 45 minutes, it's the only thing I look foward to, but it isn't enough. I don't have any real life friends, and I avoid almost all social situations. I haven't left the house in a week and a half. I feel the loneliest I have ever felt in my life.

    I can't handle it any more, i've let my family and all those around me down with my seclusion, they all think I hate them because I don't talk to them. I don't know what to do, i'm too ashamed to let anyone look at me.
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member


    Is there anything thats not negativet hat you can do for a release of your feelings? Writing, photography, anything. Just to get whatever you are feeling out..even if for a bit. I don't go out besides going to work so i know how you feel there, and i sit in another persons house all day as a job so it's not much interaction.

    You have not let your family down by being afraid. You shouldn't worry about htings like that yous hould worry about trying to overcome your fears not what people think. When you overcome these obstacles if possible your family will see that there was a reason for the seclusion.

    Take care hun feel free to msn me anytime. :hug:
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    What's your family like?
    I'm sure they just want the best for you. Sometimes when we get depressed we get angry with people around us..I know my own mother told me to "stop being so grumpy", it's just hard for them to understand. We want to be alone, and yet at the same time we long to be with people..just to talk about anything. I think you should get in touch more with your family. :)
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I can understand where you are coming from.. I know it's not easy.. My life seems a lot similar to yours, I don't leave my apt often (I have Agoraphobia), I stay in my apt sometimes weeks at a time without stepping out my front door... about the only time I leave is if I have a therapy appt or Brenda drags me out or I have to pay bills, that's it. It is very lonely, what I have is: SF and my cat, that's about it. I know it's awful feeling the way you do. Hang in there, ok? if you ever need to talk, u'm always here for ya, I added you to MSN earlier. Take care hun.. :hug: :hug:
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    But just think hun..you managed to speak on Skype :smile:
    Okay u aint the most gabby person I've ever met :laugh: but you did speak and it will get easier the more u do it.

    ps: Gabby =talkative...have u talking like a cockney by the end of the month at this rate :laugh:
  6. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    That is the most Cockney thing I have ever seen written down :laugh:

    It's good news that you got on Skype tho Dude :hug:
  7. Anonymous Dude

    Anonymous Dude Well-Known Member

    That one sentence is so true and is exactly how I feel that it scares me. I would kill just to have someone beside me to hug right now, just to talk about anything, to have some sort of human contact, to feel someones skin, to hear their voice, to see their eyes, people take it for granted everyday. It's so irrational that it drives me crazy.

    Tonight I cried for the first time in a long time, I usually could keep my composure no matter how depressed or angry I am, but it just overflowed tonight. I have no one to comfort me, and I don't mean someone to say "It's gonna be alright", I mean someone to hold.

    Oh and as for my family, I won't go into a long rant or bother explaining, it just isn't gonna happen.
  8. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Hun, I know how you feel about wanting that contact and it's not there right now but if you give it time it will eventually happen. I know you probably don't want to hear you are young and you have time but it's true I'm sorry. I no the need for that hug or that touch or that voice next to your ear I really do hun and I'm so sorry you are feeling so alone.

    Crying is not bad hun, not bad at all. even though crying isn't my thing i do cry alot..and i feel weak after but crying does help things even if you hate doing it. take care hun..and be safe
  9. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    This topic reminds me of the song 'Awkward Last Words - Armor For Sleep'.

    I know how you feel, you crave to feel real, you desire to be loved but not simply by your parents, because you know they unconditionally love you. You want to be worth something, you want to be wanted.

    I'm sort of going through the same issue, and I haven't found a cure.. all I know is that learn from your mistakes and value each person around you. Don't push people away..accept that they are there for a reason and be open to them with open arms so one day you may feel real.

    Maybe I'm wrong, What do I know...just keep living and hoping for the best.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.