Last night, a horrible thing happened.. My sister is moving about 7 states away to be with her married boyfriend she met a couple of weeks ago online. She's renting a truck for all of her stuff. Given that it's a 20-25 hour drive, she knew she'd be tired along the way. So, she asked me for a gram of meth, and she was willing to pay $300 for it.. I said no, not because I knew it was bad for her, but instead because I'm greedy and wanted it for myself. I went to sleep and woke up in a seizure attack, sweaty with the night still in mind, I realized something. I didn't even think about her 4-year old son that would be in the passenger seat. What the fuck have I become? The thought never crossed my mind until then. I said no to the deal because I want it to myself, not because of his safety.. That's fucked up. This proves to me that I need to die soon. I've become a fucking monster, and I don't DESERVE to live. When did I screw my life up? When did I become a monster?